the bad couple

chapter 41

"no, please, I'm sorry, it wasn't my fault, please stop, I'm sorry, it hurts" i hear leia pleading through terrified cries, i immediately jump up and run into the sitting room where I left her, she's on the sofa curled into a ball with the blanket on the floor, her legs have stopped kicking put and she's now laying in fetal position crying in her sleep.
"leia, please please, wake up, it's just a dream I'm here, callums here, wake up, leia, it's callum, your ok" i gently coo shaking her shoulders, her cries get louder again as she stirs in the sofa cowering away from me.
"leia, it's callum wake up" i say louder , it breaks me seeing her in so much pain, I reach my hand out and her leg flies out hitting my nose, i stumble back and ignore the blood falling to the wooden floor.
"leia wake up, it's callum, your ok" i say shaking her shoulders even more now, she stirs and i prepare to catch her foot but her eyes fly open instead and they hold fear and pain, something I've seen too much in her eyes, she looks around, her breaths fast and short, i slowly make my way to her and when I reach my hand out she flinches away.
"leia, it's callum, your ok, i won't hurt you" i say quietly looking into her tear filled eyes.
"i-i need t...to be al-alone" she stutters scooting away from me down the sofa and then standing up.
"leia, it's ok, i won't hurt you, do you want tea maybe?" I ask hoping to comfort her.
"i just need to be alone" she says trying to be stern but it sounds scared and more like a beg.
"okay, If you need me I'll be in my room, ok?" I ask gently being sure not to be too close to her.
"okay" she sighs and heads upstairs to her room, i sigh and go to my room, sitting on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands, I've never seen her have one so bad, like that before, they stopped for a while, did she start having them when we broke up? Did she have to stay asleep and suffer those memories all night? To wake up alone? Was it only tonight? Because of our kiss? Did I trigger them memories? She doesn't trust anyone and i did kiss her, so maybe she wasn't ready but kissed me back anyway, did she feel forced? What have I done?

I wake up again two hours later to her screaming in her room this time, i run in and see her in the corner huddled up in a ball holding herself, she's awake now.
"Leia? Are you ok?" she looks into my face and terror fills her eyes completely.
"s-sorry... I just had a nightmare" she says as if I'll be angry, i definitely had something to do with this.
"come here" i say gently sitting down on the floor infront of her, she hesitates before cautiously coming to me, i take her hand and lean against the headboard with her beside me.
"what was your dream about?" I ask after a few minutes silence, she goes stiff and sighs.
"you" she answers quietly atlast, now I go stiff, did she have a nightmare about me?
"what do you mean?" I ask scared that she sees me differently now.
"he always said... If i told anyone, he would hurt them, I've told you, i dreamt that he didn't die... And came back and hurt you, tortured you" she says quietly looking down.
"he can't do that"
"but my mum can" she says wiping away a tear.
"she won't hurt me, she's locked up far away, she won't hurt either of us"
"you said that before" she says quietly and i suddenly feel guilty, she's right, i promised i wouldn't let him ever hurt her, but it's my fault he did.
"i know leia, i won't ever make that mistake again, when I heard what happened, it broke me, i felt numb and like I was dying all at once, i know what I did was wrong and very very stupid, but I learnt from that, i won't ever make that mistake again... Promise" I add seriously.
"but what if she does get here and sees that I'm close to you and hurts you, she could kill you, she's ruthless and will stop at nothing to torture you"
"I won't let her get close enough, if she ever got out i would make you leave here and we would go somewhere else, i would do anything for you leia" "you confuse me callum"
"how?"
"when we're together you make me feel like I deserve the world and when we fight or your disappointed in me or something... I feel like shit"
"I'm never disappointed in you"
"what about when I ruined it for us and we ended up here?"
"no, I get why you did it"
"promise?"
"promsie" we sit in silence for another while, enjoying the moment, fuck i love her so bloody much!

"we should try to get some sleep" i say after twenty minutes of sitting in silence, her grip on my hand unvoluntarily tightened around mine.
"erm... Yeah" she says hesitantly, she goes to get up releasing her grip from my hand.
"wait" I say pulling her back down, she gives me a puzzled look.
"you don't want to?" I ask her.
"i don't want to have that dream again, it was terrifying callum, it felt so real" she says and shudders at the memory, i can already see it ruining her from the inside out.
"do you want to talk about the dream?" I ask gently, she looks down.
"would it help?" she asks unsteadily.
"it would be better than keeping it inside leia" I say gently squeezing her hand encouragingly.
"we were in the basement... He was there and you were chained to the wall, you were already bloody and bruised... I don't know where I was, i was just there watching it" she says staring off into space, remembering the dream.
"then what?" I ask softly.
"h-he took out his whip and kept hitting you, you screamed out in pain and agony... You were begging me to help, to make him stop... But I just kept watching, he was laughing at you, thinking a selfish bitch like me would help" she let's out an emotionless laugh at this and my heart aches for her.
"he took out his knife and began cutting huge cuts into your arms and legs, then your neck, you bled alot, but stayed alive... He kept kicking and punching you, it was so scary, you were in so much pain, he ripped out your hair lifting your head... Making you look him in his eyes... He tazered you and broke your shins, then he got another knife, a big one, he held it over your chest and kept pushing it slowly into your chest" she says with tears rolling down her cheeks, i pull her close to me and she turns into my chest sobbing onto my shoulder, i hold her waist and put a hand around her shoulders keeping her close, i stroke her soft shiny hair that smells of sweet strawberries, i don't say anything but keep holding her.
"your body went limp, callum, you stopped breathing, moving, your heart stopped and i felt this thing change inside of me, i felt empty, alone, hurt, i was in so much pain, I couldn't handle it" she sobs into my chest.
"you won't ever feel like that, I'll never leave you, ever"
"promise" I tell her seriously.
"promise" she says slightly happier, we are interrupted by two knocks on the door, i grunt and get up to answer it, keeping leias hand entwined with mine, i answer the door to kyle.
"hey, i heard screaming and thought you guys were 'busy' but if you could keep it down abit, that's be great" he wriggles his eyebrows at busy and ends with a smirk.
"we weren't doing anything like that, it was a scary movie and i scared leia" he looks behind me to leia.
"were you crying?" he asks his voice filled with concern.
"no, I just got scared" she says casually.
"did he do something?" he asks slightly glaring at me.
"no, I didnt" I say pissed that he thought I would do this, i hurt her in the past but I will never hurt her again.
"i wasn't asking you" he snarls at me.
"he didn't kyle, I'm fine" she says convincingly.
"fine, if you need anything I'm in my cabin" he says flatly, i notice leia fake a smile to him as he walks away.
"sorry, he's protective sometimes" she says as we go back to the sitting room to relax, we cuddle up in the sofa.
"i don't blame him"
"what do you mean?"
"your a great girl and you two are friends, I'd be protective even if we didn't know eachother aswell as we do"