Ten years after I began at Hogwarts, Sebastian Sallow is back. And he's Professor Sallow now. He disappeared after the fall of Ranrok and Rookwood, after I lost Professor Fig, and after Ominis and I couldn't keep him from losing himself. But I never...
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Still unsure that April and I could possibly be on the same page, I ask once more, "so you...feel good? About everything? And we're good?" She nods emphatically and kisses my cheek, "really good," she says, positively. "Really, really, really good." She makes my whole body feel warm.
"And thank you again for helping me...calm down? I don't know what happened."
I'm glad she brought it up. I didn't want to force the conversation. I always felt so ashamed when I would get flooded like she was. Lose control. Then again, my proclivities for dark magic, power, and control aren't quite the same benevolent intentions that overcame her.
"You've not experienced that before?" I ask.
"Not like that. A couple times – really early on – I felt something similar when I was fighting the poachers but it was... rage. Made me feel destructive."
"Makes sense," I offer as I rub my hands along her thighs.
"And then the first time I went to the repository, after everything...I tried to take in all the magic. Thought I could transmute it but – I don't know, it overtook me. I think because it wasn't mine? Or maybe because its origin is pain? Anyway – thankfully Ominis was there. He talked me down."
"But you've never felt...how did you feel, last night, exactly?" I ask.
"Oh my god, Sebastian," her face lights up and she sighs with a tangible relief. "It was bliss! It was...I've never..." She laughs as she says, "it's hard to describe."
"Clearly!" I tease.
She scoots herself closer to me, her nose almost touching mine, and she slides her hands up my arms. She squeezes and presses her surprisingly strong little fingers along my neck and shoulders and floods me with chills as she describes her experience, intently.
"You made me feel like I could fly," she begins, adding with an adorable smile, "but without wings..."
Funny, that. You make me feel the same way.
After another moment, she continues. "I feel like...when we were...maybe I could sense some hesitation..."
Accurate. One does tend to keep a lid on things when one's dominant nature borders on cruel in their predilection for complete control and absolute power. Minor detail.
::Bloody animal.::
"...but...then...there wasn't any more hesitation and when I could sense you just...being you...it felt like trust and made me feel like I could let go, too. The boundaries of my magic started to dissolve."
::You being you has literally always been the problem, mate.::
As I listen, I find I'm not sure how to make sense of the causation, correlation, or implications of any of it but it feels impossible.
