Ten years after I began at Hogwarts, Sebastian Sallow is back. And he's Professor Sallow now. He disappeared after the fall of Ranrok and Rookwood, after I lost Professor Fig, and after Ominis and I couldn't keep him from losing himself. But I never...
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"I simply don't trust myself, Sebastian. That's what it comes down to," Sharp says fiercely. "My own mind must be clear enough not to influence yours negatively under the Imperius curse, correct? That's the only way it can work?"
"Yes, but I can't imagine there would be anything you'd want to–" I start, but he interrupts me.
"I can." He says definitively. He holds my gaze and I watch his chest rise and fall with a sigh as he admits, "you've become close with April, again. I can see it. And she told me her magic is impacted in your presence. Behaves unpredictably. Which is, hardly incidentally, an interesting piece of her puzzle but it's neither here nor there for now."
Uh oh.
"It's not that I don't admire you, Sebastian, for all you've chosen to do. And I see changes in you. Tangible ones. But the fact remains that, on a bad day, I fear I couldn't stop myself from encouraging you to cut ties or...I know how that sounds but...she has grown to mean so much more to me than..." he trails off.
"I understand, Professor," I say. "You don't want to see her get hurt. I would want to keep me away from her, too, if I was in your position."
::Bloody hell, doesn't he know that's why you did stay away from her.::
But I never stopped loving her.
Sharp's face registers the hint of a wince at my comment so I add, "I mean that, genuinely. I'm not trying to be self-deprecating. I simply don't have the best track record."
He shrugs with a reluctant acceptance of my comment and says, "Cruciatus I can do for you. It makes sense to me. And I'm able to cast it, not out of desire to hurt you but out of desire to help you. I envy your fortitude to have overcome and manage that level of pain," he says with a telling look towards his cumbersome leg. "But I cannot help you with Imperus. I'm sorry."
Shit. Maybe Thiago could help me?
"I understand. Thank you for considering it." A moment of quiet washes between us as Sharp walks to his office door to accompany me out of the potions classroom. In the silence, I review in my mind what we've discussed this evening. How he's taking my morning Defense Against the Dark Arts classes so I can train with Thiago and visit the Ministry as needed. Working with him various nights to maintain my process with the unforgivable curses – or at least one of them. And I told him my thoughts about redirecting Guppy's piss-poor attitude. (Sharp suggested I give it a month and drop it if I don't see commitment or improvement by then. I agreed it was sound advice).
But what has stuck with me the most were Sharp's observations about April's memories in the repository. His sense is that the genesis of her magic is tied somehow to not only her mother's magical abilities, but was encouraged and instilled by both her mother's goodness and her father's convictions, despite him being a muggle. And an idea that has crossed my mind before, gnaws at me again. It would be interesting if I could take her to the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry to test a few theories around it.
