Ten years after I began at Hogwarts, Sebastian Sallow is back. And he's Professor Sallow now. He disappeared after the fall of Ranrok and Rookwood, after I lost Professor Fig, and after Ominis and I couldn't keep him from losing himself. But I never...
I feel into my legs and imagine my feet rooting to the ground.
Breathe.
::Futile.::
I feel into the top of my head and imagine it expanding into the universe above me.
Breathe.
::There is nothing but darkness above you.::
I feel into my hips...
::Go feel into her hips.:: Shit. Breathe. Three. Four.
I feel into my hips. Embrace...I am allowed to embrace the current joyfulness of my life...right?
::What joyfulness? You feel like a sorry sack of flaming rubbish.::
Breathe...two...three....
I invite myself to feel worthy of joyfulness.
Breathe.
::Right, you've been trying to feel worthy for years. This'll be what does it.::
I feel into my forehead. I see...
::Nothing but fog and a throbbing headache, mate.:: SOD OFF.
I feel into my abdomen.
::Go feel into her abdomen.:: SOD OFF.
I invite belonging.
::HA!:: I am allowed to belong, you know.
Breathe.
I feel into my throat.
::Feels tight.:: SOD OFF. ::Not her throat. Whose mind is in the gutter now?::
My throat does feel tight. What is it I'm holding back? What am I not speaking?
I feel into my heart...my heart that hasn't been this exposed in years.
::Terrifying..:: No, it feels good.
April sighs quietly next to me. I don't think she's asleep. I wonder if she knows I'm not.
What time is it? Doesn't matter. Haven't slept a wink.
::Whine about it all you want, Seb. I'm feeling bloody fantastic. But also - you ever considered what a fucking knob-head you are?::
In the darkness, April quietly shifts in the bed to my right. The last few nights, she has gradually de-nuzzled from me over the course of sleeping (or not) and my arms feel empty.
