Ten years after I began at Hogwarts, Sebastian Sallow is back. And he's Professor Sallow now. He disappeared after the fall of Ranrok and Rookwood, after I lost Professor Fig, and after Ominis and I couldn't keep him from losing himself. But I never...
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I'm glad April didn't mind me arriving late to breakfast. As I meander through the empty halls to the Great Hall, I find it to be a much needed respite. I spent some time meditating. Worked on my breathwork. It has revealed a brand new ocean that has sprung up inside me these past couple weeks. I'm having difficulty making sense of it all.
I haven't had so much new information all at once in ages. Maybe not since fifth year at Hogwarts. Nor have I had so much sensory input. Never had...April. I struggle to think of anything but her. I miss her and I want her and I crave her. Constantly. Part of me finds it a welcome change of pace, in and of itself, considering that I can actually have her.
Mindfuck of the universe, that.
But, admittedly, another part of me finds it unsettling to be so consumed. It reminds me of how I used to feel about her and think about her – completely obsessed. And how undeserving I felt.
Makes me wonder if all the monks I've been living with are onto something with their total abstinence method.
And what happened this morning certainly is interesting. I have only ever boiled over – unwittingly manifesting my magic through affecting the physical world around me – with fury or rage. Never because of –
– I don't know how I feel about the fact that I'm not certain how to finish that sentence.
If it's joy or love, that's one thing. I remember April's flip-side-of-the-coin theory, and it has teeth. Perhaps my rage is a nearer neighbor to more positive feelings than I'd realized. But if it's desire that drives me, I truly fear where that could lead. I've worked so hard to let go of my attachments to the parts of me that cause destruction.
My thoughts are halted when a screeching voice echoes through the halls. My stomach lurches.
"WHO HAVE WE HERE?
YOU'RE ALL ALONE!
LET'S SEE YOUR FACE
ONCE YOU ARE PRONE!"
An unforgiving yank from behind at my collar by an invisible force lands me, unceremoniously, flat on my back. The air is knocked from my lungs.
Fucking Peeves.
"OOOOH! Lookie lookie! Have I gone mad or do I see Sebastian Sallooowww, brain like a fluffy marshmaaallowwww!!!" Peeves mocks.
I don't have my breath back enough to respond before he jumps in again, "you just couldn't keep away from old Peeves-y, now could you?" He laughs maniacally as he spins loops in the air above me.
As I finally stand I'm able to grunt, "shove off."
Instantly, Peeves is in my face again, rudely spitting, "haven't cast enough Unforgivable Curses, hey Sallow? Is that it? Back to wreak more havoc?"
::Fucking prick.::
Instinctively, I lurch for him and he laughs heartily as my arms fall through his ghostly form. "Weeeee! He didn't like that one, did he!?" My fists clench defensively as Peeves continues to laugh and fly frustrating loops around me.
