Return of Sebastian Sallow | 10 Yr After Hogwarts

Chapter 119: Being Ominis

What does it mean to be Ominis Gaunt?

It's a question that feels trite to my consciousness, which is so very on the cusp of waning. Or is it?

No. You're only having a dream, Ominis.

But what does it mean...to be Ominis Gaunt? The question hums around my mind like a little gnat, as if waiting to feast on the overripe, fermenting sucrose of a long-rotten family legacy that never suited me to begin with.

"For some reason this song has been like a little bug in my ear these past days! What a notion that is, no?"

I grew reluctantly from roots that never felt quite my own, watered by a constant stream of pureblooded piss and vinegar. My whole childhood was a behemoth, sisyphean effort to parse any good from the deluge of unbridled prejudice and generalized antipathy towards anything that wasn't wholly, entirely, and purely 'Gaunt.'

Granted, that deluge became a trickle when the seedling that I was – only mildly soured – began to blossom into a kind of individual while a student at Hogwarts. Any modicum of confidence, then, came only as a result of my concerted effort to bear fruit as far upon the farthest start, on the farthest branch away from the trunk of my family tree, grasping for nourishment under Sebastian's and Anne's light. Then under April's when the previous sources dimmed.

And then I was free. Or, rather, I was presented with the illusion of freedom.

What, exactly, is a new Hogwarts graduate to do when he couldn't overcome the loss of his dearest friend to the point of only scraping by with "shameful marks" – mother's words – that would "undoubtedly fail to set me on any path on which I might hold my head higher than a dog's."

Strange – Sharp had called them "venerable marks." Sharp said there were many paths still available to me.

"...paths I would have paved with diamonds for my love to pass." ...Thiago?

But what kind of career is available, anyway, for a "physically disgraced magical elect" (father's words) when his family – and, by extension, the other pureblood families – has such a hold at the Ministry of Magic?

I remember meeting the now-Minister Spavin as a child, trying to cling to my father's legs on the front steps of the Ministry, his voice like honey as he tried to sweet talk the man. "Spavin, old chap! Shame we never see you at any of the fundraisers..."

And what is a young man to do when he finds he prefers the closeness of men to women – something I've struggled to say out loud until very recently – yet another reason he would bring shame upon his great name?

Elder Väinö's voice echoes in the gilded chamber of my memory. "It is as the moon speaks to me. Gaunt is not your true name."

Ominis Gaunt is someone who starts anew. That's what he does. Or, at least, he tries. He reconciles with Anne and moves into Sebastian's house and picks up the pieces of his friend and flame's life that were left behind.

Anne's voice dances across my forehead as real to me as the warmth of Summer's early morning sunlight that day. "Stay with me, Ominis. Please. We can help each other," Anne had said. "It would be nice to have a brother, again."

"You see, I had learned that April's brother had moved from his family's home! Ha ha!"

Thiago, is that you?