Today I learned that an antidote to paralyzing anxiety, blood-thinning existential fear, and the raging inner voice that accompanies those things is holding April's hand on a brisk walk, followed by a visit with a quirky house elf.
"It is a pleasure, indeed," Penny says as she takes my hand in both of her tiny ones. She shakes it zealously as she says on an awestruck sigh, "Mister Sebastian Sallow. I always hoped I would meet you!" she says happily, not dropping my hand. Then, in a very candid way, she reports, "Miss April always said you were too stubborn to ever come back!"
::Bit of a call out, yeah?::
Oh hush. It's only true.
I shoot my love a sly smile and feel my eyes squint in response to the jab of Penny's candor. April shrugs apologetically, and I tell Penny, "well, she was right. I was! But...things changed." Penny releases my hand, her expression dancing between awe and suspicion.
"April spoke highly of you in her letters, Penny," I say, attempting to relate to my new little friend who I know means quite a lot to April. "Though, I admit you are even more delightful than I imagined!" But upon revealing that I had, in fact, received April's letters, Penny hops atop a nearby ottoman and starts to pound her tiny house elf hands into my chest in a tantrum, calling out with adorable frustration, "oh then why didn't you write!! You should have written us back, Mister Sebastian!"
::Even the house elf is mad at you.::
April, who is standing behind Penny and out of her view, chuckles, catching my eye and mouthing, 'sorry,' but she shifts on her feet, putting a kind hand on Penny's bony shoulder as she says, "Penny it turns out he did write, he just couldn't send his letters. I have a lot to fill you in on, my dear friend, but all is well, I promise."
That's a relief.
Everything today has been so heavy, and there is a part of me that was wondering if things weren't as good between April and I as I had thought. But ever since we left the castle, it seems a veil of stress has lifted and the voices in my mind, though still present as a result of the anxiety, aren't nearly as acerbic as they have been since finding the prophecy.
::Could be worse, if you like? Bloody hell! Angry angry fuck fuck fuck!::
"So...Miss April is saying Penny can like him?" She asks April through the side of her mouth though her side-eyes are still on mine and her tiny hands are still balled in fists on my chest.
April stretches her hand towards me and I take it in mine while she assures Penny with a warm laugh, "yes, Penny, you can like him. In fact, Sebastian is...well he and I are..." April pauses and gives me a thoughtful look. Her eyes sparkle in a way that reminds me of how she looked up at the sky the first night I saw her wield her magic in the centaur colony. She finally smiles at me so beautifully it actually hurts a little in the bottom of my ribs, as she turns to Penny and says, "Sebastian is my love, Penny. He's my heart." And the tiny, balled fists explode into fireworks of wide fingers as Penny flings herself against me and wraps my neck in a hug.
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Return of Sebastian Sallow | 10 Yr After Hogwarts
FanfictionTen years after I began at Hogwarts, Sebastian Sallow is back. And he's Professor Sallow now. He disappeared after the fall of Ranrok and Rookwood, after I lost Professor Fig, and after Ominis and I couldn't keep him from losing himself. But I never...