Sander Sides Oneshots And Stuff (REQUESTS ARE OPEN)

Incorrect Quotes

(Tw: Remus, aka Swearing, sex references, etc. Also angsty kinda)

Patton: We need to distract these guys
Logan: Leave it to me
Logan: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Janus, Remus, and Roman: *Immediately begin arguing*
Virgil, watching in horror: Oh this. I don't like this. I don't like this at all.

*****

Patton, driving Virgil and Remus: So how was your day?
Remus: We almost got surprise adopted!
Logan: What?
Virgil: We almost got kidnapped.
Patton: Oh, okay.
Patton: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

*****

Store Worker: Would a Mx. Logan please come to the front desk?
Logan, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker: points to Patton and Remus
Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?
Patton and Remus, simultaneously: We got lost :(
Logan: I didn't even bring you guys here with me-

*****

Patton: Isn't it weird that we pay money to see other people?

Logan: Plane tickets?
Roman: Concert tickets?
Remus: Prostitution?
Patton, holding their broken frames: ...Glasses.

*****

Virgil: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Deciet: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
Virgil: I'm leaving you, and I'M TAKING PATTON WITH ME
Patton, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're gonna stop playing now.

*****

Janus: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Roman: 'Prettiest Smile'
Patton: 'Nicest Personality'
Remus: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Logan: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

*****

Patton: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life
Virgil: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!
Janus: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!
Roman: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Remus: My moral code, is that you?
Patton:
Patton: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

*****

Somewhere, deep in the Dark Sides part of the castle..

Virgil: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Remus: I'm a knife.
Janus, from across the room: They're the little spoon.

*****
V

Virgil: Nothing in life is free.
Patton: Love is free!
Roman: Adventure is free.
Logan: Knowledge is free.
Janus: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

*****

Janus, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.
Roman: Hey.
Patton: Hi!
Logan: Hello.
Virgil: Wassup.
Remus: Bonjour, bish.
Janus: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
Everyone but Janus, simultaneously: We were out of Cheetos.

*****

Remus, grumpy: Well, aren't you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you're out to save the world!
Logan: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.
Virgil: More or less, I guess...
Patton: That sounds awesome! Let's do that!
Janus: I'm new here, but I am open to the concept.
Roman: I thought that's what we were doing, guys, come on!

*****

Remus: Rules are made to be broken.

Logan: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Roman: Uh, piñatas.
Patton: Glow sticks!
Virgil: Karate boards.
Janus: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Remus: Rules.
Logan:
Logan:👁👄👁

*****

Logan: Dammit, Remus!
Remus: What?! It wasn't me!
Logan: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Virgil!
Virgil: Not me either.
Logan: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?
Patton: ...I was baking cupcakes.

*****

Patto, banging on the door: VIRGIL! Open up!
Virgil: Well, it all started when I was a kid...
Roman: No, they meant-
Patton: Let them finish.

(VERONICA! Open the, open the door please!

Anyway, that's it for now! Hope you enjoyed.

If yall have any requests, please do tell me!

Take it easy y'all!)