"Na, lately I notice you spend a lot of time with Mazmur," Asri commented one day, as we walked along the pavement to the library. Those days, being alone just with a girl friend was a rarity for me. It was the change of environment, you know, with Mazmur and Desiree and her minions occupied most of my time.
"Hm." I actually didn't know how to respond to that.
Asri stared at me for quite a long time with a stare that meant: you're going out with him, aren't you? But I held her gaze impassively.
"What do you want me to say?" I finally asked her when she persistently refrained from talking.
"I don't know. Nothing, I guess."
Asri has never been pushy, but perhaps that's why I often find myself lured to confide in her.
"Well..." I started. "I'm not going out with him." Asri nodded in silent. I continued. "But it is true that I've been spending a lot of time with him. And I am not oblivious, you know, to what people say behind our back. I know people talk. I am aware of their question - yours, as well - but as a matter of fact, it is also my question." Pause. "As far as I know, we're not an item."
"You'd better not be carried away," she bit out and frowned.
"I know, I know. I'm just saying I'm not oblivious. It doesn't mean I'm overly concerned about whatever this thing happening between us. Whatever it is, it just is," I assured her.
"You have the tendency to get carried away," she snapped, clearly worried.
"I know," I whispered guiltily. "But, Asri, this time what concerns me most is how it affects the people around us."
"What do you mean?"
"Desiree."
"Desiree?" she raised her voice due to confusion. "What's she got to do with this?"
"Hello! She's his friend, remember?" I rolled my eyes. "She's been acting a bit weird. I wonder if she's jealous or somewhat."
Asri laughed. "So conceited, Aruna! Do you think you're the center of her world?" she remarked, to which I pouted.
"Well, maybe Mazmur is!" I snapped back.
"Still so conceited, dear," Asri giggled. "Well, I don't know her. What makes you think that way?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. Perhaps it's her frequent silence which is so unbearable because somehow it feels like she's demanding to be paid attention. Perhaps it's her mean jokes which grows meaner and meaner everyday. Or perhaps it's just her attitude in general. I feel unwanted, Asri, there around her friends. You know that feeling, don't you, as if you're trespassing? It began the day Mazmur and I became too friendly with each other."
Asri seemed to be lost in thought before pointing out, "Perhaps she sees you as a competitor in her life. Speaking of which, don't you think it also - perhaps - has something to do with you being a strong candidate for the debate competition?"
[M]
