"The debate competition?"
Even the thought of it sounded so silly. "It's not possible!" I told her. Who would trouble themselves over mere debate competition? But Asri only shrugged and picked up where she left, "Who knows? It's quite prestigious, after all. And isn't Desiree the type that is pretty competitive?" Oh, you tell me. It wouldn't have occurred to me had Asri not pointed it out back then.
"She can be a pain-in-the-ass if something doesn't go her way," Asri mumbled, "I've been watching her, you know."
I laughed bitterly. All these times, I had thought all of my friends were pathetic social-climbers who were blinded by Desiree's persona. And I had thought I was better than that. Well, I really was. . . to some extent. But who would've thought Asri noticed the same thing about Desiree? By that time, I already started believing there was something Desiree kept to herself. She was not this all-gracious, all-beaming good girl she put on display.
Anyway, to be honest, I wasn't even interested in participating in the competition. People say I'm ambitious, and I wouldn't deny it, but my ambitions tend to be about unusual things. To be admitted as the leader of my own circle of friends, to not be a coward, to have the guts to say what I mean and mean what I say, to be remembered gloriously. Things that are near the heart. Things that cannot be measured. Things without standard. Now, that's real competition because you cannot tell for sure whether you have won. But this debate competition? It's child play. It's something I had obsessed with when I was in high school. If Desiree got all worked up over this, it's her loss. My competition with her should be about Mazmur and everyone else.
"Na, not everybody makes their social life their priority. You should remember that," Asri remarked with a deep sigh.
I decided to give her a blank stare that I always give whenever I disagree with whatever they say. Asri knew what kind of person I was, just like almost all of my friends. I'm an open book, they say; a statement often proven true no matter how much I hate it.
"Nobody doesn't make their social life a priority. I'm not a believer of pure intention," I declared. End of discussion.
[M]
