Louis had no idea what he was doing here. To put it simple: it was Eleanor's fault. She assumed that Louis would use it as an opportunity to socialize, so she put him on the list of speakers. He had neither any intention to socialize nor anything to say, but his friend has already put in the hard work getting him here. Now it was his turn to suffer.
He never liked this kind of events even when everything was going well. Now all the brightness only made him want to run and hide. He found Liam in the middle of the room shiny and bubbly as champagne in his hand. Louis envied him and it made it difficult to be happy for him.
"You should meet Ethan. He is new in publish business so maybe you could give him some advice," Payn said brining him another glass.
"I'm not exactly in the position to give out advice."
"You're not in the position to give out free advice." He clicked his flute of bubbles with Louis' whiskey. "That's why I gave him a hint that he should hire you. But he needs just a little taste to make up his mind."
Louis felt sick just imagining some rich kid fishing for him with daddy-trust-fund money. The thought made him bite the inside of his cheek. That had been him. He used to be that kid.
"I'll try to find him later," he lied. "How is it going with new show anyway?"
"Oh, it's great! The teenagers are loving it, general public - not so much, but that's what I'm here to settle."
Liam used to hate TV industry. The first day of his internship he came home and got high with Louis like immediately. He couldn't stop talking about their stupid closed-off minds and reruns of the same unhinged shows. Louis was proud that his friend was making a difference, he just missed that time when they both had dreams worth dreaming.
Eleanor found him smoking on the balcony one hour into the night.
"You're up next," she told him in a hush voice, like she was interrupting something.
He was alone and finally not suicidal.
"I still have no idea what to say to all these people."
She closed the door to the balcony frowning to him and pouting her perfectly red lips.
"What do you mean? You have this new book ready to publish, you should be out there promoting it."
She didn't know, he realized. He told Liam and Zayn because Liam was his best friend and Zayn worked with him. To Eleanor it was tomorrow news headlines and she was good-naturedly trying to help him.
"I guess I'm just nervous, don't mind me," he smiled the best he could.
She shrugged rubbing her forearms to get some heat. Louis put the cigarette between his lips and shrugged his jacket off. She smiled to the gesture.
"We have almost the same size."
"Shut it before I changed my mind."
They giggled overlooking the city. There was something almost cinematic about it, Louis thought to himself. If only he didn't feel the cold and the burn of the cigarette. And the pit in his stomach.
"I would never picture us here ten years ago," she said in a whisper, taking a cig from Louis. "We were so naïve."
"You still are," he said just to piss her off.
It wasn't easy to think about it now. He didn't feel the same way. He felt like he speed-ran through his twenties, too occupied with projects and dreams to realize that he was going in the wrong direction. He always knew that he'd end up in the big city, and in all these years it was the first time that he felt himself sticking out like a sore thumb.
YOU ARE READING
Dirty Talk (l.s.)
Fanfiction"Can I buy you a drink?" The man looked up from his phone, but not at Louis. He stared straight ahead of him, slowly smiling to himself. "You can, but it won't mean anything," his voice was silky and deep like his cleavage, Louis noticed. "It's a dr...
