Gemma and Mickle's backyard was smaller and dimmer. There was no bench, no tree, just grass and fencing. Empty in opposition to Louis boiling thoughts.
"Lou, wait up," Harry hissed coming out the glass door and sliding it back in place.
Louis walked back and forth for some time without any result. He had questions but he wasn't sure if he actually needed to hear the answers. Harry was being secretive as usual and Louis was okay with that...till now.
"Do you even understand what you're talking about? A baby, Harry?" he whispered.
Harry scratched his head frowning.
"I don't get it," he mumbled. "You don't want to have kids?"
"Of course I want kids! But do you really want children with me? Are you so sure?"
His frown deepened.
"Louis, I was crazy all day!" Harry whisper-yelled. "Watching you with Ron, I couldn't take my eyes off of you."
Louis grunted out a frustrated moan.
"See, you say that...sweet things all the time but then I find something out, something that you didn't tell me or just...Agh!" Louis groaned. "I can never tell if you are serious about us, Harry. Like, why wouldn't you tell me about your life? Why would you keep secrets from me if you want a future with me? I don't get it."
He wasn't sure how to say it out loud for Harry to understand his struggle. He loved that man but love was not enough if they wanted to last. He needed trust.
"I keep secrets from you exactly because I want to have a future with you, Louis. It's not that complicated."
Louis chuckled and shook his head.
"Why did you ignore your own mother for three years?"
He watched Harry's face change from apologetic to defensive.
"Is that about my past then? Are you having second thoughts?"
"Well, maybe I am," Louis voiced his own fear. "I thought that you had no home and no one to rely on but turns out you did it on your own will."
"As I was telling you before, Louis."
"You're right. It's not about that," Louis grabbed his chest because his heart was pounding so hard. "It's about you not willing to let me in. Why would you keep it from me?"
"Isn't it obvious? I'm scared, Louis. I'm scared that you will hate me and leave me."
"Or maybe you just want to start clean."
"What is so wrong with that if I want? I have you and I want to forget everything that was before."
"It's not how it works!"
"Why can't it be like that?"
"Because today I felt like I don't know you!"
They were both breathing hard standing in the middle of the backyard. Harry was not even wearing a shirt and he'd feel the chill if all that talk didn't keep him fired up.
"You know me," he whispered much calmer than before.
"Not enough to have a future," Louis breathed out. "We need to trust each other. And sometimes..."
"You don't trust me." Harry finished for him.
"Would you? If you were in my place. I was kinda sure that it's only temporary for you before you started talking about babies just now."
"What?" Harry stared at him in shock. "I bring you here to meet my family, I think about having a baby with you and you think I'm not serious about us?"
YOU ARE READING
Dirty Talk (l.s.)
Fanfiction"Can I buy you a drink?" The man looked up from his phone, but not at Louis. He stared straight ahead of him, slowly smiling to himself. "You can, but it won't mean anything," his voice was silky and deep like his cleavage, Louis noticed. "It's a dr...
