Dirty Talk (l.s.)

Part 14

Louis was eight years old when his second sister was born. It was a great day just at the end of the summer. He and his grandparents drove Jay to the hospital early in the morning and stayed only for a couple of hours. Félicité was eager to come into the world and speared her mother hours of suffering. She was like that, their Fizzy, easygoing, cheerful and always ready to help others.

Louis was twenty-six years old when he nearly lost her. It was a spring night, some fancy restaurant for a meeting that Steve organized for Louis and some sponsors. He was ready to sign the deal when his phone went off. Sometimes you just know that it's the call you need to take and Louis felt his heart beating rapidly in his chest for no apparent reason before he answered.

It's significant how similar some people's deaths can be to the moment they were born. Same white walls of medical facility. Same people sitting on the other side of operation room. Louis spent three hours in the waiting room meeting one relative at the time and cursing himself for letting it happened. It was his fault and he was very aware of it. It was because of his connections that she got in modeling and met all these people. Bad influence. Louis was a bad influence.

For the first time in his life he was actually glad that his mother wasn't there to witness all of it.

Fizz got lucky though. Doctors got her heart going, that helped them locate the blockage and the operation went well. Louis had another chance to scream at her for being that stupid. He didn't use it.

Him and the family talked it through and decided on a therapist and some rehab time. They were aware of the things Fizz never told them, about her suffering after Jay's death, about her failure in the modeling industry. She didn't need to say it out loud. They were around to notice.

Harry didn't have anyone around. He hid it well, used other types of destructive behaviors but Louis finally recognized them for what they were. And Fizzy helped him to understand what to do next.

She told him to wait. That was the hardest part of the process and she warned him about it. The problem was - no one knew how bad it was. Louis was pretty sure that Harry wasn't going to harm himself, but nothing was able to bring his fear down. He told Niall that they got into a fight and asked the man to check on Harry. As expected he got a 'fuck off' wrapped in 'he told you not to worry' from smiling Niall. Was Louis ready to scream about Harry's condition? Yes. Was it okay for him to do such thing? Not even close.

So he indulged in his own destructive behavior which was burying himself in work. Zayn was observing him close per usual but Louis couldn't care less. He needed to distract his mind from constant pictures of Harry with other people. His work was also a perfect excuse not to meet Liam for drinks. He understood that his friend wasn't trying to break his heart. He still did it though.

When the distraction wasn't working his mind, the rational part of it, kept him preoccupied with theories on what Harry was doing now, or who he was with. He'd call Niall or Ethan, maybe ask for Ed's number even. But like it often happens in that kind of situations, people don't really know. Louis needed to see Harry, to watch his face really close to see a glimpse of it. No wonder his friends didn't notice. It wasn't a good thing, it just wasn't that simple.

And why couldn't it be simple? For once Louis just wanted to have it easy and life was getting in his way again. But then, all great stories were complicated. And he loved them for it. And romance wasn't actually supposed to be simple, as a genre. Louis was hoping that reality would be boring and mundane. In some way it was.

So two weeks later on a Saturday night Louis was typically the only person in the office. Zayn came in the afternoon and brought him some lunch not even asking about it. He was a great friend. Louis was sure now that Liam let Zayn in on Harry's secret, so Zayn staying quiet was the sweetest thing that he could've done for Louis. Other than lunch. Louis wasn't eating well.