Escape ↣ Harmione

Chapter Seventeen

Harry sat at his desk, it was Wednesday, Hermione was at her Animagus class, and for now he was home alone. She had come back from the first class content that she'd be able to make her transformation in the time scales she had planned out. He was happy for her, she was the only person he knew that would look at achieving something that difficult on a time scale, but then she was Hermione.

His second Wednesday night alone so far wasn't shaping up that great. He rolled his pen between his fingers staring into space. It was a pose he'd been holding for a while now, his brain idling along, his thoughts drifting to whatever topic they wished. Taking stock.

A noise of feet on the stairs registered on his thoughtful musings but didn't disturb him, until he heard a voice at the door.

"A patient of mine once recommended I had a mural painted on the ceiling to give him something to look at." Harry looked up to see John stood in the open doorway. "You alright? You were miles away."

"Yes," Harry said rubbing a hand over his face.

"Can I?" John gestured to indicate entering the room.

"Yeah, sure," Harry agreed.

John came forward and dropped into a chair facing Harry, he spent a minute looking him over. "I have a question or two if you don't mind. You don't have to answer, of course, I'm just curious, it's nothing important."

"What's up?"

"Why didn't you want to do the Animagus training with Hermione when you found out about it? I'm not sure about magical people because they grow up with it every day and don't see it as anything special. But for a muggle born and raised magical people? I would have thought you'd be interested. I've thought about it, and I would quite like to turn into an animal. The challenge of finding out what animal you might be then completing the transformation seems like something that you might have gone for."

Harry sighed. "It is, or well, it might be." He stopped, biting his lip. "I'm not explaining very well."

"Take your time," John said casually waving a hand. "I'm not going anywhere, and I'm quite good at discerning what people mean by the noises coming out of their mouth. Occupational hazard."

Harry smiled at the intended humour and gathered his thoughts. "Yes, I think I'd like to do it. But. Back home, or in England, or well whatever we're calling that. Everyone saw me as my Dad. I've seen photos, and I get it, I look like him except my eyes." He rolled the eyes in question. "People knew him, and they look at me, and don't see me, they see him, or the Boy who Lived. Becoming an Animagus would be another thing that they wouldn't see me for, they'd see me doing something my Dad did. I'm not him, and here away from everyone who knew him, I can be me. Not Harry Potter, James and Lily's kid, or Harry Potter who never knew his parents, but just Harry Potter. They'll never stop being my parents, but they'll never be my parents if you see. I can't ever measure up to whatever people have built them up to be, I'm not sure they could measure up to what I've built them up to be," he said quietly.

John nodded. "I think I understand; it makes sense you want to be your own person. Everyone wants that. I suppose the expectation on you is a lot higher than most people what with your history. I just wanted to make sure you weren't saying no because Hermione got in there first. She's a bit of a force to be reckoned with when she gets going on something, and it can be intimidating. Neither Helen nor I want you to think that you are in her shadow. You are your own person to us."

"Thanks," Harry said. "Hermione is, well she's always been about learning as much as she can, and I can sort of see it. But studying is well, it's not…" He floundered again.

"It's not the be all and end all to you?" John supplied.

"Well yeah. I enjoy learning new stuff, especially here when there's less open hostility in the classes." He trailed off again shooting John an uncertain look.