Reviving Sage

[Chapter 15:]

Ballet night was something to be excited about.

It happened twice a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays, and it allowed me two precious hours away from Ella. The hours were to be relished. The first few times they were spent bawling my eyes out because my baby was away, but they gradually turned into moments of happiness, and small beacons of light when Ella started getting older. Every parent deserves to have at least a couple of hours to themselves, and thank God I got four hours a week to catch up on sleep, and not have to cleanup a mess, or deal with a temper tantrum.

Four hours a week to do whatever I wanted.

But sometimes those hours would get lonely. I would miss her most times after her only being away for thirty minutes, and other times I would be sad to see the time go.

But tonight I wouldn't just be catching up on sleep, I was going to uphold my end of Ansel and I's agreement.

Which was slightly scary because I had some news for him.

I'm going on a date with Calvin.

It had been a little while since i've been on an actual date. (I refused to call that disaster surprise dinner and morning after with Ansel a date.

Calvin had invited me earlier to attend a benefit his job was throwing to raise money for their new branch including molecular biology.

Fascinating...

And when he called, he'd even apologized for the way he'd acted at the club toward Ansel.

Which was definitely commendable...

So I said yes! Ella was going to be going with Kim to the aquarium friday night, and she was sleeping at her house Friday so it worked out perfectly. Plus, it seemed like fun! He'd said there would be dinner and dancing at one of the ritzy hotels in downtown Malibu.

I guess saying yes would be the easy part, and telling Ansel would be the hard part.

I squeezed Ella's hand as we walked toward the building where her ballet practice was always held. It was a peaceful quiet between us, but I knew something was on her mind, "Ella, are you okay baby?"

She nodded and looked up at me, "Do I look different mama?"

I looked down at Ella in her pink leotard and ballet flats. It was Tuesday night, ballet night like always. She looked like the little girl I had raised for the last five years, I was confused.

I stopped in the parking lot and bent down to her level, "What do you mean baby?"

She shrugged her little shoulders and her mouth quirked into a pout, "I'm the only brown girl in ballet." She paused and Instantly understood what she was hinting at, "It's not like at school where there are more brown girls like TiTi, Mikayla, and Ashley in my class, and I look different than the other girls in my ballet class. Why is that ma? Why am I the only one here?" She asked.

Oh, so we were finally having this important conversation...time to put my mommy boots on...

I stroked back the hair from her face and admired the beauty in front of me, "Baby, when God made you, me, TiTi, Mikayla and Ashley he made us special...you wanna know how?" I asked gauging her reaction.

She nodded her head excitedly and I continued, "He made us special because we have brown skin. Melanin, which is another word for color, is what God blessed us with. He wanted black people to be special, and do great things, like take ballet class," I touched her cheek and smiled, "In some places you might be the only brown person there, but that shouldn't make you feel weird, or different! God only wants the best for little girls with brown skin, and since you're the only little brown girl in ballet God wants you to be a leader and set a good example for the other girls to follow okay?"