I Can't Sleep

Throw That Dog A Bone

Remus' POV:

I'm really worried about James.

Over the course if this school year he's been looking more and more like death, and it's not even Christmas yet.

He's noticeably skinnier, big black bags under his eyes, his hair dull and lack luster - so very different from the silky shiny mane that it used to be.

And no matter how many times he tries to deny it, I'm pretty sure he has developed a sleeping disorder - insomnia.

I'm quite positive the other Marauders have noticed too, they just pretend they don't because they wouldn't know how to help him.

I don't even know how to help him - mainly because he's refused to be helped.

I've begged him to go to Madam Pomphrey but he won't budge, always spewing one excuse or another as to why he's up at 4 in the morning, or why he looks like he's lightheaded all the time.

Today however I'm more concerned about him than ever.

I noticed his absence early in the morning and waited for him to return, and when he did he looked like a deer caught in headlights.

Then he said...he said he thinks he hates himself?

I can't tell you how fast my heart dropped after hearing him say those words.

My head began to hurt and it felt as if I were hit by a train.

Then he got panicky and ran down into the common room.

He was sobbing and shaking and gasping for air, my heart absolutely broke to see him like that.

Of course after he calmed down he tried to play it off like it was nothing - but it was not nothing.

He couldn't convince me he was fine for I had already seen the overwhelming sadness in his eyes.

Then he...he kissed me.

When i say i wanted to leap for joy that is not an overexaggeration.

I can't tell you how long I've wanted to kiss him, and there he goes and kisses me!

I know the timing was a bit ill, being just after his first panicked attack and all, but it was perfect nonetheless.

But then I just had to go and touch his side.

It was ridiculous! I could feel every single rib through his thick pajamas.

Anyways I practically jumped away from him and basically ruined the whole moment.

I especially killed the vibe when I started chastising him and demanding he come down to breakfast.

After going back and forth for a minute he finally agreed.

When we got up he asked me to forget about the panicked attack and I promised I wouldn't tell anyone.

Then we left, hand in hand, each step causing butterflies to do flips in my stomach.

Butterflies that quickly died when the fay lady made fun of the two of us for leaving in our pajamas.

---

" 'Morning you two! Where have you been all morning?" Sirius exclaims as he and Peter walk toward where we sit at the table.

I glance at James and he shakes his head very slightly, reminding me of my promise.

"Oh y'know," I say turning back tot he other two, "just hanging around here."

"Yeah and eating your weight in food by the looks of it eh Prongs?" Sirius laughs, nudging James in the shoulder as he takes a seat next to him.

James ducks his head slightly, his cheeks reddening with embarrassment.

Damnit Siri. It took long enough to convince him to come down to eat and  I don't need you shaming him for it.

"Oh shut up Sirius, he can eat however much he'd like." I snap, glaring at him.

Sirius just shrugs then glances at James in masked concern.

James still has his head down like a scolded child, and instead of eating with vigor like he was when they first entered, he now pushes the food around on his plate.

"Yeah, might be good for him too. Put some meat on his bones." Siri gives a half smile.

James attempts at smiling but doesn't say anything.

There a moment of tense silence between the four of us, only filled with the joyus chatter around us.

"So um...any plans for the Hogsmede trip tomorrow?" Sirius asks suddenly.

We all shake our head and mumble a 'no', 'nah' and Peter's 'can't go, detention'.

How he got detention without the rest of our bad influences I don't know but none of us ask.

Peter's been disappearing more often lately and he won't tell us why - well to be fair none of us have really asked him about it...

Maybe we should pay more attention to -

"Brilliant!" Siri yells, jolting me out if my thoughts.

"Because I have a suprise! Moony! Meet me in the entrance hall in ten minutes!" He yells, getting up and running out if the hall.

James and I stare in shock after him and Peter gets up, muttering something about needing to go.

"What the bloody hell was that all about?" James asks.

I shrug my shoulder then look down at his half empty plate.

"C'mon Prongs, just eat a bit more." I quietly coax.

"I've had two platefuls already moony, if I eat any more I'll burst!" He chuckles.

I frown, it didn't seem like he ate that much, and I don't think I actually saw him eat those two platefuls....

"Oh alright. But you're coming back down for lunch okay? You've gotten into the bad habit of only showing up for breakfast and dinner lately." I tell him and he shrugs, a sheepish grin on his face.

"Now let's go meet Padfoot." I say, standing.

"Um, actually, I have to use the bathroom." James says, somewhat nervously.

"Can you hold it? I really don't feel like facing Pads and whatever his 'suprise' is alone." I grimace.

Last time he had a suprise for me it was a bouquet of Devils Snare that he mistook for flowers.

I think he was trying to ask me out but I never had the chance to answer because I was in the hospital wing for three days.

If he asks me out now I'm not sure what I would say.

I've fancied him for a while, but I've also like James for a while.

I know I'm polyamorous, but that doesn't mean the other two are.

I think James might be though, I've seen him stare at Padfoot quite a lot, but then again they are best friends.

Ugh.

"Yeah okay." James says, and he gets up to come with me.

"Thabk you, now let's go throw that dog a bone." I roll my eyes.

We make it to the entrance hall to find Sirius with a bouquet of flowers - real flowers this time.

He's down on one knee and he grins up at me.

"Remus," he starts and my heart begins to pound.

"Would you go to Hogsmede with me?"

☆

Oop, dRaMaAa.
Did this seem any less rushed? I hope so but I do have time get the ball rolling a bit. Don't worry more Snape x Marauder content ahead but also more
James x Remus x Sirius content too.