I Can't Sleep

Hospital Wing

James POV:

I'm not entirely sure how I got in this situation - although I suppose I say that for far too many situations for this to be a surprise.

One minute I was sitting on the edge of the arches, trying not to fall to my death, then the next thing I knew I stood up, felt a wave of dizziness, and ended up fainting.

Now here I am, in the hospital wing, pretending to be asleep so that Madam Pomphrey doesn't force another potion down my throat.

Though I think she'll begin to suspect something soon, she did say the dose she gave me would only last a few hours.

Snape had to half carry me here, stumbling through the halls with my arm slung over his shoulders.

I'm not sure if it were a dream - because the entire way to the hospital wing I seemed to slip in and out of conciousness - but I think he may have even said my name!

Odd thing to get excited over, I know,  after all he has said my first name before - at time's without me even having to make him - but I don't know...it's the way he said it.

Like he was concerned for me. Like he cared.

Nobody cares about you.

And he talked to me all the way up to the hospital wing.

I'm not certain on what he said to be honest, I only caught a few words (like 'idiot' and 'incredibly, selfishly moronic prat') but I think I got the jist.

From what I can tell, he even stayed with me until I fell asleep, which wasn't long thanks to Madam Pomphreys sleeping draught.

Or I could have imagined him.

Either way, something inside me warms slightly to think that he cares, and I'm not really sure why.

It's Snivellus! Sure we might be on good terms and yeah I'm trying to make up the past to him, but it's him! I've never cared what he thought or felt about me!

Truth be told I care what everybody thinks about me these days, but still I never really expected to care to such a degree whether or not he cares.

I've always just -

Footsteps.

"Mr. Potter?"

Madam Pomphrey, shoot.

I keep my eyes closed and try my hardest to remain motionless.

I really don't feel like being forced to take another potion. And I really don't want to hear the lecture she's surely prepared for me.

I already know I'm going to get it from Remus.

"Mr. Potter I know you're awake the potion is sure to have worn off by now," she says.

Shoot it all.

Slowly I blink open my eyes and sit up, stretching my arms out and faking a wide yawn.

"Oh!" I say when I'm finished, "Hi Madam Pomphrey! I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long!" I say politely.

The Mediwitch just gives me an eye roll and an exasperated smile, shaking her head at my obvious display.

"No, not long at all, Mr. Potter," she plays along.

Grinning slightly I adjust myself in the bed and wait patiently for her to begin.

She does.

"Mr. Potter - " Pomphrey tuts, her voice quickly switching from amused to disapproving.

"-I hope you realize how detrimental not sleeping is to your health."

Wait...really?

Wow I had no idea.

"And I advise you to stop this bad habit of yours, staying up all night and expecting it to have no negative consequences."

She scolds as if I have a choice of staying up all night.

As if I'm up all night just messing around and shit.

Her stern expression softens slightly.

"And if you are ever needing assistance in sleeping, you can always come see me.

"There are potions to help, although I advise against using them frequently. They can be quite addictive and after a while stop giving the same affect."

I nod my head silently, not really knowing what to say.

I'd rather pitch myself off the astronomy tower before going to her whenever I can't sleep. 

Bit dramatic I suppose, but true.

She doesn't need to constantly be worrying about me and my sleeping schedule - doing so would probably ruin her own.

Not that she would be so worried about me she wouldn't be able to sleep - as if anyone could loose sleep over me - but because me coming to wake her everytime I feel a little restless probably would.

"I want you to take this potion - " She holds up a bottle I hadn't noticed " - it should knock you out until dinner time.

"Then after you eat you are to report back here and stay the night."

"Aw c'mon, Madam Pomphrey! I don't need to stay here tonight! And I've been sleeping all day do I really - "

"Yes.

She pins me with her most stern look before holding the potion out to me.

My heart thumps hard in my chest and I swallow.

I don't want to take this. I don't want to go back to sleep.

Sleeping under the potion is so dark. Dreamless. It's like being held underwater but not being allowed to drown.

"W-What about lunch?" I stammer out the first excuse that comes to mind, my voice tense.

"I-I haven't eaten all day! I'm starved!"

I force myself to relax as her face changes from stern to thoughtful.

I really don't feel like eating either if I'm to be honest, it sounds a lot better than being put back to sleep.

Besides, if eating the foods really that bad, I can just throw it up later...

Easy.

☆

K idk why it took me so long to update this, it's kinda short but there ya go.

Lowkey just kinda bullshitting my way thro this at this point, but like, hope yall are still enjoying it ig.

Hey make sure to go check out my other stories To Be Hated(ON
HOLD) and Semantic Satiation (Completed).

And also, if any of yall have any suggestions for new stories or where you think this story should go, feel free to PM me or leave a comment!