The days laid into one another perfectly, including the horrible events within them. My brain paired to my actions perfectly as my soul and heart seemed to buffer.
Scott left the room, taking his phone with him. My stomach began to turn and become queasy. Tori Tori Tori Tori Tori Tori. I chanted to myself. The agony to get out of his bed and go home as I should, but the agony to stay and rest with him. One more time..
My mind ran for an hour's worth of time, crunched into about thirty minutes, or from what I can last remember. My eyelids became warm and heavy, drifting open and closed until they shut. My mind slipped for a while though it felt like thirty minutes of tossing and turning. Six hours had passed, alone, in Scrim's bed. My eyes, now boiling and tense, filled up with tears.
"One more time.." I silently wailed, "I can't even sleep peacefully with you one more time."
I felt around the bed for my phone, picking it up to see 4:42 light up my screen. I picked myself out of the bed and grabbed all my things I had that were previously shoved into bags. Tears streamed down my face as I slipped on my shoes and trudged my way out of the house.
My bags dragged across the yard as I walked through the dawn in only a T-shirt and shorts. My heart pounded in my throat as the tears drowned me. Taking one blink at the house with thick tears raining wherever they please. My gut sank. The unknowing of whether or not this was permanent, and the fact that it should be.
I opened my car door and threw my bags in, then closed it and proceeded to get into the driver's seat. I put the key in the ignition and started the car as I wiped the tears off of my face, and pulled my hair up into a bun to get it out of the way. I pulled out of the street and began to make my way onto the highway, seeing the sun begin to rise.
Kools
My mind instantly navigates me to a gas station. I pulled up to the drive through window to a young, restless looking woman.
"What can I get for ya," Her tone was raspy.
"Kools," I replied.
"Kind?"
"Ma'am?"
"What kind?" She said somewhat sternly.
"True Menthol," I responded, "And a Big Shot cream soda please."
The door slid closed as she left to retrieve my order. I grabbed my purse to shuffle through and find my money. I grabbed my wallet, pulling it out the bag, then a small container.
"8.69" She sighed.
I grabbed out a twenty and handed it to her, "Have a nice night," I said as I drove off.
I opened my soda, taking a refreshing sip, then retrieved the container. I popped it open and took out a white pill, then busted open the fresh pack of cigarettes. I slipped one in between my lips and immediately lit it, rolling the window down to not keep the smoke trapped. I popped the pill into the drink and let it settle.
I had been driving for some time as I pulled up to a red light. Almost home. I said to myself. Ironically as soon as I said that I felt goosebumps. I looked left and right. I looked in front of me at the cars, and then I looked in my rear view.
Oh, for me to look in that rear view.. Ruby's eyes connected to mine, and I feel like we both acknowledged that because two seconds later he was calling my phone.
"It's early," Ruby started the conversation.
"It is," I answered happily.
"Just odd?" He questioned silently.
"For you? Yes. You're a sleeper.. Usually, and so is your cousin but apparently not. I have some things to get done around my house," I said. There was a brief pause, "I just couldn't sleep."
"Okay shorty.. I was just checking. We do love you," He quietly replied.
"I love y'all too," I faintly said. I hung up the phone with a shuddery breath as I began to drive again.
I pressed down my emotions as I once again found myself going back to the house in dread. I pulled another cigarette out and lit it once again. The house I dread. I suddenly swerved into another lane and off into a parking lot.
My car idled as I took the last few drags of my cigarette. I took the keys out and opened the door, flicking the cigarette and locking my car. I made my way into Best Buy and headed for the electronics. My mind was so scrambled I didn't even think to even check how I was looking at the moment, knowing I looked like all hell. I got to the electronic department and looked at all the computers.
"Hello ma'am," A cheerful voice said behind me.
"Hello," I greeted back, without turning to meet the person's face.
"Is there anything in particular you're looking for today?" He asked.
"Nope, just something simple for business," I answered.
"Well, just let me know if you need any assistance," He suggested, "Macbooks are top selling right now."
As his footsteps receded I turned towards the directions he was leaving, seeing a tall man with sleeves walk away. I took my phone out and looked at the camera, adjusting the mascara on my face.
"I'll take a Macbook, the newest one y'all have in stock," I said politely after I made my way to the counter.
The man had silk brown hair with a dark complexion. He looked at me with golden brown eyes and a somewhat thick beard. He had a nose stud along with a pair of glasses that suited him well. "Alright," He said with a grin of perfectly pearly teeth.
He made his way to a drawer, pulling keys out of his pocket and unlocking it. He withdrew a white box that was wrapped in plastic.
"I hope this is something of the sort that you're looking for," He said.
"It most definitely is," I said looking up at him to match his smile.
I paid for the computer and left the store. For a while my head was clear. I made my way home and unwrapped the Macbook from its packaging, plugging it up to let it charge.
I took a shower, and actually did stuff around the house just as I had told Ruby.. only because I was waiting to set up the computer. Once it was charged up I imputed all my information and played on it for a while.
I emptied out my bag and took some bud I had out and began packing a bowl with it. After some time of smoking the clear headedness went away, not because of the weed but the messages that were on my phone and now my computer. The paranoia and anxiety that kicks my absolute ass for no reason. A simple text from Scott, "Ruby said you got stuff to do at y'a crib. you comin back?"
A simple response I could give. No. Maybe. probably.
And then Tori began to circle my head.
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I Want to Die in New Orleans // $uicideboys
FanfictionYou find yourself wandering past the groups of people playing music all around the streets of New Orleans, only to be introduced into an uncommon punk band. You become friends very easily with the members but you have a lot in common with a spec...