I Want to Die in New Orleans // $uicideboys

29: In Constant Sorrow

   A couple of minutes later a white Avalon would enter my driveway and I'd release myself from my house into a night that called for chaos.
    The tired screeched up and down the streets of New Orleans, on a prowl for excitement to feast on.
    "Seems like you didn't have a plan," Ruby hummed over the music.
    "When I see it i'll see it," I slurred from the extended amount of day drinking i had been doing, "And impatient as you are, we coincidentally made it, up ahead," I signaled as i adjusted myself upright instead of a slouch.
    Ruby squinted as he looked forward, the sun starting to set as the street lights replaced its warmth.
    "Eheh," he laughed.
    "What?"
    "Oh nothing, just was boring last time I was here," He said in an undermining tone.
    "Well, first, i've never been-,"
    "No?"
    "No. Second you're with me, and third I have this," I said with a smile of glee as I raised my bag up. Ruby answered my statement with an eyebrow raised and silence, while I responded with the opening of his car door to walk myself out with a grin.
    My feet carried me across the crumbled sidewalks as I walked alongside Ruby, bumping into him occasionally. He wrapped his arm around my waist to steady me. Embarrassment could've covered my face yet I felt no sting of it, only did I feel the tension in the car ride, hoping it would soon ease, and feeling like it was about to.
    There wasn't much on the outside, two boarded up windows. A what seemed to be abandoned building set right in between two other ones, but was definitely deceiving on the outside.
    I kept up with Ruby's pace as he peeled open the door, causing a mixture of screeching and scraping to occur. We found ourselves in what seemed to be a high-class club lobby. There were a few people there along with us sitting upon luxurious red furnishings. Ruby traded looks with a man that was standing by a curtain, and within seconds later we were on the other side lost in an ocean of people all moshing to rave music and flashing lights.
    My brain switched gears from processing my actions to off. Somewhere deep in my heart I felt an ache that would be impossible to shake. The amount of sips didn't matter, there was still a reminder of my constant sorrow. In all the situations I've experienced, having weighed out the odds of which would knock that feeling out faster, it had to be pills, to which my reflexes obliged, unsnapping the mini ziplock from my purse and fishing out two capsules. The repetitive names that circled my mind, from what Marley did, to Tori... Scott, who I haven't seen or talked to in what feels like ages. The trio that tossed and turned my brain around, now smothered by a substance stronger than any damage they can do to me... Or I hope.
    I popped the two pills in my mouth, and turned to Ruby, seeing him annotate the rhythm of the club. I pulled him in, connecting my lip to his and pushed one of the pills through. My lips dwelled against his a couple moments further then I had intended, but that didn't matter.
     As I was already unable to decipher the strobe lights alone, there was one going off in my head as well. One that told me it was a bad idea, to stop and leave. There was something there, lurking, something I didn't want to know about... more so something I shouldn't know about. The flashing disclaimers for my actions began to fade into an emptiness.
    As the drug seeped into our brains we let the crowd take us while songs shuffled through genres and artists that kept the structure alive and shaking. Every level of the establishment was jam packed with people who were possessed by the rhythm.
    "You must've come here at the wrong time before," I teased Ruby over the eardrum popping music.
    "No," He responded, "But we did,"
    I waited for him to elaborate further but he directed his attention back to the stage. Did he really not like the music? His statement created a cliff in my stomach. I dove down as it slipped from his mouth. Maybe it was how intoxicated i was but the warnings began to sizzle through my skin once again. 
     "I'm going get a drink!" I shouted, then turned abruptly to what was somewhere to me and probably the direction of the bathroom in reality.
    I squeezed through people as I tried to get a fondness of the building, but everything seemed to look the same from my perspective. I looked at the levels again and the idea of stairs popped into my mind. Surfing through the wads of people I found a flight to which I climbed up about half way, gazing out to see the whole room for what it contained and not the shoulders and backs and hair of others.
    I looked for the bar but it was pointless, knowing I wasn't in the mood for a drink, but felt better having something to occupy my mind then an unsettling feeling in the pit of my being. It felt unfair that I wanted to get away from Ruby, but his statement felt more distressing than opinionated. There were so many people swarming around I couldn't detect a single face. I looked outward into the crowd once more and followed to where the DJ was, examining a room right behind the platform the speakers sat upon.
    I walked back down and attempted to navigate myself towards the room, the levels of frequencies bouncing off the walls did not help. My vision was distorted as I felt every reverberation tap into my skin. My feet were one with the floor, sending my body into mini earthquakes. I shoved my way through, using some people as balance and others as obstacles, finally making my way into a space that seemed would keep me somewhat comfortable.
    The whole time the music mashed together in my brain, never able to define which were what until a certain melody drilled its way into my skull. I felt like my skin was ready to fizz away, letting me descend into the atmosphere. An absolute soul taking intro that was composed by only one person. Scrim.
    "Slumped back in the driver's seat, blunt between my lips, I'm riding with a bitch that's high as me....." The tune played.
    My body trembled. My blood boiled. My heart rate intensified. I was confused about everything. How was someone able to play their music? Who gave them permission, and why did they play it here? That was my job. That's what we've been hustling for, I quit for a little while and all of a sudden people are using music for clubs and shit? My brain buried itself in a hole as every thought I had suddenly went blank, leaving myself to do the thing I always do and regret, make a move.

Authors note:
Tysm for all the love i've gotten out of this book! I'm super excited for GREYDAY 2023 :) trying to get back to writing and hope to entertain and satisfy y'all with the next few chapters. <3333