I Want to Die in New Orleans // $uicideboys

31: Vivivi

     I swerved through people forcing myself towards the doors, my adrenaline let off the gas pedal while my exhausted heart throbbed in my neck. As I approached the doors Ruby and I had entered through, a gut wrenching feeling pulled me away. I wandered around for a minute trying to brainstorm a plan but I knew it would take ages to find another exit without direction. I shifted around seeing people in groups or pairs besides one person.
    "Excuse me, you know where the back exit is? I parked my car there.. can't seem to remember," I lied as I approached the hooded individual.
    A cell phone light lit up the hand of the person as they turned towards me, "What happened-," a familiar voice of a man took place.
    Not knowing whether he was talking to me, I began to restate my question, ultimately locking eyes seconds later that would unleash the most sickening emotions in me.
    "Shorty-," Accidentally slipped from his mouth, "Nah, Yes I heard you bruh, lemme get back witchu- you sound fine to me, just hollon," He bickered to the other person on the line, then abruptly hung up the phone.
    I envied every moment leading up to this that I had broken free from, now I only stood frozen.
    "Yeo?" He said, stepping closer to me as he reached out for my arm.
    "Fuck off," I murmured, trying to casually walk away.
    "No way, its been how long?" The individual carried on as he followed me, "Fuck, talk to me," His voice burned in a low rage as he grabbed my shoulder.
    "It's been that long for a reason Scott!" My words contaminated the air.
    "Wuchu mean? C'mon lemme take you outta here," Scrim sincerely inquired.
    "So that we can talk? Or so we can fuck? So I can fuck someone elses man. Fuck you when you're for some bitch who got their nose broken tonight-,"
    "I ain't for no bitch," He sternly interrupted.
    "And y'all fuck with the same motherfucker that assaulted me," I laughed as I put the pieces together out loud. I could've convinced him that this was my theory the whole time, though none of it sank in yet, it all just flooded me in ways unimaginable.
    "You really think i'm with that shit?"
    "You think I wouldn't ? I know that burnt ass mind got something in it," I bluntly blurted, not meaning the last part.
    "Shorty if you think i'm the only burnt one here you got a problem fo real," He calmly said, eyeing me while I watched him collect his senses internally.
    A couple months ago I wouldn't have believed he was capable of anything but having commitment issues. Now he held my happiness in his hands, and somewhat far from his heart.
    "There!" Yelled from behind me in a high pitched squeal.
    "Shawty just let me take you out of here yo, I'd rather be back home makin a beat and smokin it out witchu," His offer persisted.
    His words slipped onto my body that made me want to lurch onto him and disappear from this night, but my mind told me it wouldn't make sense. Whether it was my safety or my pride, it will always be my pride, and giving up and finally going back home with him would ruin mine. I hadn't spotted Tori anywhere near us as I covered the area, and decided to make a run for the doors I had urged myself not to exit earlier.
    An old, familiar, sharp pain pierced through my skull as I stumbled outside. Figures fogged up my vision and chatter filled my hearing. A thick voice entered my brain. 
    "30..29..28..27..26.." A coarse countdown played.
    A hand enclosed in my arm, spooking me as I hurled myself forward.
    "I'm forreal. ..24..23.. My whip right there, ..22.. let's go...21..20..19.." The voices stirred in my head.
    "I'm good.." I said as I kept my eyes directed on the ground.
    "16..15..14..,"
    Scrim paused a moment, then must've decided he wasn't taking no for an answer. He walked up to me, hoisting me over his shoulder.
    "Stop it!" I wailed and squirmed, but he trotted along to his car unphased. The immediate contact of his hands sent tingles to every part of my body, almost drowning out the clock in my brain.
    "..7..6..,"
    Scrim opened the car door and lowered me down, my immediate response was to get into the car as quickly as possible as I saw Tori emerge from the entrance.
   "5...4.."
    I exhaled as I shifted into the car and buckled the seatbelt, letting myself feel somewhat safe by the restraint. Scott jogged around to the other side and threw himself in, locking the doors. He quickly started the car and put it in drive.
  "..2..1.."
My brain exploded, following a loud silence and a loss of vision. I felt myself blink through the darkness as I felt around the car, though nothing was there. For a moment there was complete peace in this alternate reality within my mind. I felt myself become absorbed in the solitude, then being interrupted by a jolt from reality, or Scott, as he pulled me back to the present, finding myself back in his car as red rain covered the windshield.
The car jerked and swerved while my senses followed momentarily after, slinging me around emotionally and physically only to have everything catch up to me at its own pace. I was frozen and stunned as if my eyes couldn't accept any more thoughts flowing into my head.
The chatter from the streets turned into screams, and the anger from Tori turned into a temper tantrum, "Just perfect.. Scott you're gonna be so sad when that's her on the street!!.... Fuck!!!"
I'm sure that we both heard what she said, I just wasn't sure if I believed it. I stared at the tinted windshield trying to decipher whether I had witnessed an attempted assassination on me, while Scrim turned the wipers on to expose the city lights into the car. We both kept our eyes forward and said nothing as my body shook, feeling everything in my stomach sit at top of my throat. I didn't know if I wanted to cry and throw up or yell and jump out of the moving vehicle. The silence almost tried to reassure me that I was still backed out and dreaming, but my pulse told me otherwise.