Incongruity

Remembering

I remember the pain behind my smile. The fear, the shame, the regret I carried for miles.

I remember the sound of tears veiled by laughter. I remember it now and will hereafter.

I recall the way I hid myself, afraid to be, afraid others could tell.

The nostalgic way I cried myself to sleep, the familiar taste of lies on my teeth, the false hope I held but never truly believed

I remember what it was like to be the old me.

But I'm no longer her.

Like plants peeking up through the last snow of a hard winter, I have new growth, and I refuse to let you return me to the depths of that sorrow.

You can lie to me, but I will not let you control. You can abandon me, but I will not let fear take hold.

For I am golden and green, proud to be seen, and with or without you I will remain clean.

Because this is my story, not anyone else's to claim, and I'll let the memories filled with poison become what fuels my flame.