Forsake My Broken Hart

Chapter 9

A chill seeped into my body, waking me up. The lack of warm bodies around me was alarming. My skin prickled as my subconscious picked up a nearby presence staring at me. I forced my body to stay relaxed as I shook the last remains of sleep from my mind.

Before I could pounce on the intruder, a large body flattened me against the bedding beneath me. Breath tickled my ear as Azrael whispered, "You're breathing changed the minute you woke up. You'll have to do better if you ever want to catch me unaware."

I groaned and started poking him in the ribs. He twisted away, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly before he schooled his expression. A devious idea came to mind, but Azrael was prepared. He gripped my arms and twisted them behind my back before shoving me face down into a pillow.

"Don't even think about it. I will restrain you for the rest of the day and tell everyone not to go near you as punishment." He clasped the back of my neck hard but not painfully.

"You really think they'll listen to you?" I wiggled my ass into his groin. "It would be way too tempting for them. I don't even think you'd be able to resist."

"You're right." His voice dipped even lower. "I don't think I would."

My breath hitched then faltered. He released me so fast I almost didn't have time to catch myself. I turned around and sat to face him. He had rocked back onto his heels, his hands held loosely on his thighs.

"Azrael, I talked to the guys last night." I started to say.

He held up a hand. "I know. I talked to them this morning. Chogan came up with the same theory last night. I'm not mad, Hart." He paused. "I'm not good with words. There's no reason for me to be mad. I'm just confused."

"Confused about what?" I wanted to reach for him, but as he struggled with what to say, I realized this was an important moment in our relationship. I didn't want to fuck this up.

"I feel as if outside of the physical aspect, we don't have much in common." He rubbed the back of his head, not meeting my eyes.

"Azrael, you were the first person to connect with me while I was in that basement. Why do you think that is?" I studied his expression.

My Angel of Death frowned. "It took meditation to reach you. I've had training when I was in the CIA as a way to get through torture. When you went missing, I started meditating because... well because losing you was a form of torture."

I moved an inch closer. "I have always been at my weakest around you." He scowled at that but I tapped him on the forehead and gestured for him to wait. "I have never felt comfortable being weak in front of anyone. Until you. All of you enrich my life in different ways, but Azrael, I lean to you when I'm feeling weak because I know you're strong enough to pick me back up."

I cupped his face between my hands and rested my forehead against his. "You were there watching over me at the Fort, when I had never felt so alone. You were there when we got separated from the others in that city. I was terrified. You were there when I was in the basement. At my literal lowest point. What has happened between us hasn't been conventional. It's literally the end of the world as we knew it. But even if it wasn't, I don't think we would have ever had a normal relationship because the two of us aren't normal."

"Fuck." He leaned out of my reach and rubbed a hand across his chest. "Okay. I'm done feeling emotions for the day. Let's go see the others." He tugged me to my feet and helped me find clothes to put on.

Outside, I met up with Isaac and Jessie, finally apologizing for my aggression the previous day. They both waved me off, completely haven forgotten and forgiven the incident. Rowan and Chogan had gone to meet with the old lady and her group, somehow managing to evade Doc in the process. The old man stormed through camp, muttering to himself. He had deep shadows under his eyes and his skin seemed to hang off his bones. A memory of Lola floated to the front of my mind, but I didn't think Doc was sick the way Lola had been.