✍🏻 Bonds of Fear (Loki)

17 - Shit

Loki

It didn't matter how many times I shook with her, smacked her cheek, talked to her, yelled at her. The hours went by and she was still unresponsive, her breathing shallow and her body motionless. Nothing seemed to be working and I was getting increasingly desperate.

Especially when her lips started to lose color and when I touched her skin, it wasn't her usual temperature. She was getting colder. I heated up my hands and sent the warmth into her but even when beads of sweat formed on her forehead, it changed nothing about her state. She was hot to touch for several minutes before I gave up and stopped tempering with it, not knowing how sensitive humans were to this kind of thing. For all I knew, I might have just fried her insides.

"Shit," I swore for the hundredth time that day and got off the bed, yet again pacing her room.

It was early evening and though any hours usually felt to me like mere minutes, now they felt like an eternity. I already sobered up from the silly notion of getting a doctor, not in the slightest planning to implicate myself in her death. I wanted to get back to Asgard, that was my goal, not saving stupid humans and their stupid lives.

I scoffed and looked at her, one persistent emotion making itself known again. Guilt. She wasn't stupid and her life wasn't stupid either. It was my fault she was in that strange coma. I knew she had a strong reaction to mind reading or any kind of mind tempering. I was too greedy to get what I wanted and now she was probably slowly dying, everything she told me becoming useless.

"Shit," I breathed out, running my hand through my hair and before I would drive myself crazy by staring at her lifeless body, I went to the door and left her chambers. I needed fresh air. I needed to think without the constant visual reminder of what I'd done. I needed to come up with a plan.

"Brother!" I jumped up in my steps and spun around, seeing Thor coming down the stairs. "I was looking all over this crazy maze for you!"

My brain and body froze, unsure if I'm blessed or cursed. Thor was probably the only one on this excuse-for-a-planet who could kill me. But he was also somebody who knew how human bodies worked in comparison to us, Asgardians. I never expected to have such a thought, but Thor actually possessed knowledge I didn't have.

"Oh, brother, how lovely to see you," I flashed him a smile, trying to make it as sweet as possible.

"Oh, c'mon, I was gone for weeks, why do you always have the need to be so sarcastic and mean?"

I was just about to say I tried to be sincere but he wouldn't believe me anyway, so I left it be and gave him my usual sneer instead. "You went on your wonderful adventure while you left me rotting here with these pathetic mortals, what would you expect, brother?"

"Have some wine with me, Loki. Let's put these quarrels behind us. Our mother wouldn't want us to fight."

"Well, she wouldn't exactly be shocked."

Thor pursed his lips and I shrugged, waiting if he was going to try to continue the squabble or not.

"I have wine from Álfheimr."

"Why didn't you start with that?"

****

His chambers were much larger and grander than mine, once more reminding me I was indeed just a prisoner in their eyes and not a King or a God.

We opened the wine and he was telling me about his trip, how he uncovered that Hella was indeed our sister, joining Odin in battles, conquering the Nine Realms thousands of years ago. He managed to find only bits and pieces of these stories, yet unable to locate her prison and see if she already escaped or not. As downcast as he was about his unsuccessful trip, it was clear he enjoyed being out there and exploring worlds. It was in his blood, his fate, to be the protector, not the ruler.
Even Odin had to grow into that role and I wondered if Thor would follow his path or see that I'm a much better fit for ruling than he could ever be.