✍🏻 Bonds of Fear (Loki)

29 - Unloveable

Loki

The party was as boring as I thought it would be. My seat was at a table with Thor, Black Widow, Banner, and some kid I'd never seen before who nervously introduced himself to me as Peter Park-Spider-Parker. Humans and their stupidly long names. I sat there in silence, my eyes scanning the place in hopes of finding Feer while Thor was telling a heroic tale of how he defeated a seven-headed hydra centuries ago. I've heard that story hundreds of times and each time he made the hydra bigger, and stronger and added a new twist that didn't happen.

It was almost comical that they gave me a seat like an equal and yet I was still an outcast. Nobody dared to sit too close to me and the Peter boy flashed me anxious glances whenever he thought I wouldn't notice.

More than ever I could relate to how Feer felt among them, the unnecessary fear everyone felt even when she meant no harm and just wanted to have fun. Feeling the constant suspicion that she's scheming something sinister. I shifted in my seat and the boy next to me scooted minutely further away while pretending he was engaged with Thor's story. It made me all the more grateful for the way Feer treated me. Never hesitating to call me out on my bullshit or to pay me a compliment. My gaze hovered over the drunken crowd and my stomach twisted painfully at the thought of her looking at me with fear like everyone else. I would be devastated to have her see me that way.

How did she feel when her friend saw the tape and started to avoid her? I doubted Feer knew Natasha asked Fury to keep them separate during missions but she must have felt it from her. The shift in her emotions, the small hesitancies whenever they talked. It went away with time when Natasha learned how to trust her again but it was probably too late for Feer. Her trust issues got their affirmation, and she steeled herself against seeing any of them as anything more than her colleagues even though deep down she cared dearly. I got up with a sigh and began to make my way through the crowd, glad I was taking her away from this place.

There was no way I would treat her the same way and what I saw on the recording grew less and less significant. It didn't matter she had that side to her and maybe if she wasn't constantly balancing between the good and the wrong, she would never find her way to me. The heavy stone that had been weighing on me ever since I saw the recording was gone and I pushed through the mass of people to the door to go and find her.

I felt terrible for avoiding her earlier, and when I gave the crowd one last sweeping glance, I opened the door and rushed toward her chambers.

Feer


The door flew open and Loki stumbled in, his eyes instantly zeroing in on mine. "Almost ready!" I exclaimed and turned around, scanning the pile of shoes I took from my chest, still unable to locate a pair that would match the dress. Suddenly, there were his hands on my hips and he spun me around, kissing me with such urgency it took my breath away. I had no idea what got into him and it took a lot of effort to push him away. He looked worried, brows furrowed, and with my red lipstick now smeared across his lips.

"Great, now I can go and start all over with applying the stupid lipstick. What--"

His hands slid under my ass, and he lift me, wrapping my legs around his waist. "Don't go anywhere," he muttered quietly, sounding almost like a warning before he began kissing me again, this time with surprising gentleness. His lips were warm and soft and as his hands went up my back, encasing me in his embrace, I felt like I was wrapped in a plush blanket. "They don't deserve you, Feer," he said as he minutely pulled away to see into my eyes. "Let's have a party here. Just the two of us."

"You telling me I spent the past two hours getting ready for nobody to see me?"

"Were you getting ready for anyone other than me?"