my new home

5. flashback

Nialls pov

Hailey leaves the roof and i start fully panicking. I walk back in my room and just smash everything on the ground. I find some old pictures of Nick and I. I rip them apart. "No no no!" I start whispering. I try everything i have to put it back but i can't. I get a major flashback from that day.

The flashback

I see him laying in our bathroom bleeding to death. "VICTOR!" I yell. He runs to me and so does Rose. She hides my face in her chest but i can see it. I can feel Victor shake his head after he checked his pols.

"He didn't-" rose can't say it anymore. The others come run here. We all start crying and they try to help me but i just black out. He cut his wrist way to deep.

End of flashback

I walk to his old desk cus Liam doesn't use it. I grab a knife. Well no it is the knife.

I walk to the bathroom and make myself bleed. It isn't much. I see victor kicking in the door. He has bandage and wraps it around my arm.

We walk through the hallway and Louis hits the back of my head. We walk downstairs and rose gives me water. "Why did you do that Niall?" Victor asks me.

"Also you are cleaning that room" rose says. "I got a flashback and i ripped some of our pictures. I regretted it and got the flashback. I will rose" i look down.

"Niall? Why would you do that?" Rose asks. "I got mad. Hailey started about it and i just got mad at him again. He left me and he knew about my mum! He knew and left me like that!" My body shakes and my lips are too.

"I know you're mad but Niall you still have them" they point at the door and rose opens the door. I see everyone. I chuckle and nod. "Look we know you have a really hard month but you got this! I know how suicidal you are and if you want we can go to his graveyard" Victor says. "I'd like that yeah" i say nodding.

"Tomorrow after school we go then" he says. I hug him and i go upstairs. I start cleaning the room when Liam walks in. "Need help?" He asks. "No thanks" i say. I smash almost everything in the trashcan.

"Who made this drawing of you?" He shows the drawing zayn made for Nick. It was his birthday and zayn didn't buy him anything cus he forgot. He made it a day before his birthday. I totally forgot i still had it.

I just smile at it. "Niall?" He asks. "Uh zayn made it for Nicks last birthday. He didn't get him a birthday present. I posted for that photo for 9 hours. I couldn't eat or drink. It was a hell but he LOVED it!" I say. "He sounded really great" liam says.

I sit down on the floor and smile. "He was the best. He was a weirdo but you know the most stubborn person i know. He was reckless and did weird stuff. He kept me going for 3 years and then he just left without saying anything or even write a note or a video message! Nothing. He left me with nothing at all!" I feel i am getting angry again.

Liam sits down. "My parents suck at being parents. They abused me and when i was 15 i came home with someone. They told me to leave the house and never come back. I did that and i went to 25 foster homes. If i don't make it in this one i will be in an orphanage. Everyone knows no one wants kids of our age" he says.

"Why don't you just put your hand on it?" I ask him. "Why is it so important for you to do that?" He asks. I shrug. Nick never did that and we know how that ended. "It is my last hope and you ruin everything! I am sleeping on the couch. Night" i say walking out.

Liams pov

Niall walks out and i keep the drawing. Louis walk in and he looks at me. "Why is it such a big deal for him?" I ask Louis. "Nick didn't do it 1 time. The night he passed away. God is Nialls last hope. He needs people to survive. He is scared to get close to people, he thinks they will do suicide anyway" louis says as he sits down.