-silence-

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The next few days were balanced with me caring for Bodhi and being at the hospital with Ellianah. I couldn't bring myself to take Bodhi with me. He had just turned one and even at a tender age, he would know that something was wrong if he saw her.

I had let close family know, Patrick, Joe, and Andy. I told Brendon and Sarah too, but I hadn't told Bronx. Ashlee and my parents knew and I made them promise not to tell Bronx, not yet anyway.

Days at the hospital were long. I was by her side for as long as I could without being occupied with Bodhi. I tried to keep his life as normal as possible. I had offers coming out of my ears from the guys asking to look after him if I needed time, but I didn't want to make things more difficult. I knew Bronx was living a normal life right now and I wanted to keep that the same as I could for Bodhi.

It was traumatising to see Ellianah like that. She looked so peaceful but then you notice the wires and the tubes, and the bump under the bed sheets. I almost didn't want her to find out what was happening to her. I didn't want her to have to feel pain and have to go through treatment and all kinds of stuff. I loved her more than anything, and despite not knowing our fate quite yet, I was still scared.

But Ellianah, being the girl she is, woke up.

"Where are the boys? Are they alright?"

I laughed and took her hand, squeezing it at the pleasure of hearing her voice again, seeing her beautiful bright eyes.

"They're fine. Bronx is at Ashlee's and Bodhi's in daycare. I have to pick him up in a couple of hours but I can ask-"

"Can I see him? Please?"

"Y-yeah, of course." I smiled and she mirrored my actions.

Her smile managed to inflict butterflies into my stomach. I wanted to grab her and kiss her but I couldn't, she was too delicate. I just held her hand, pressing my lips against her skin. I didn't want to hurt her, and she didn't even know what was happening.

It was only when the doctor came in that things started to go downhill. Her beautiful smile faded and the glint in her eyes reduced to a pale green. Her hands went limp inside my grasp and I felt her start to shake with worry, but she didn't show it.

The doctor began to speak, a young lady with a clipboard pressed against her chest.

"The tumour is small, barely developed. We can remove it without harm to you, but we'd have to start some chemo-"

"But I thought...you can't...she's pregnant." I said, shaking my head.

She sighed. It was a deep and sorrowful sigh, I knew something bad was about so come from between her lips and so did Ellianah. I felt her fingernails dig into my palm, almost drawing blood.

"This is where the problem lies. We can have a short burst of chemo that wouldn't affect the baby, however it's unlikely that it would destroy the tumour."

"So, so what should we do? What can we do?"

"We'd have to have a c-section, deliver the baby prematurely around 8 months. But by this stage the cancer may have spread and you would need much more intense chemotherapy."

I didn't say another word. The nurse stood still, ticking various things off her clipboard. I wasn't sure what to do. Ellianah just stared at the tiled floor, blinking occasionally. I had never seen her so vacant, it scared me.

"What would happen if I did nothing? If I had no treatment and I gave birth naturally?"

"Then there would be a possibility that the tumour would grow. My only other option is for the tumour to be removed now by surgery, but it could affect the flow of oxygen to the baby for a substantial amount of time?"

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