Our Conditions

⬍ 29 - BLAISE

FRUSTRATING
CONVERSATIONS

I guess to some certain extent I should've known that nothing will ever come easy for me.

That and Noah has officially gotten on my fucking nerves. Like I have zero fucking patience for my own brother at this point.

"I thought that's what you wanted?" Noah says through the phone which causes me to grip it harder in my hand.

If I'd get the chance to beat the shit out of him, I'd take the opportunity so damn quick.

"Blaise." I hear Ashton voice and instantly shoot my head up at the door.

I don't allow him to speak, I just shake my head and motion to my phone then go back on my laptop.

"I said I wanted you to enjoy a university as a normal damn person. Where did you get to join a damn fraternity from that?" I ask him as I type into my laptop the fraternity that he told me he's now in.

"You said to enjoy going to school. That's what I'm doing." He says as I hear a bunch of guys in the background.

"You frustrate the fuck out of me." I state and shake my head. "But whatever. Do what you want."

"Thanks dad." I hear him sarcastically say which causes me to roll my eyes.

"Don't do anything that would ruin the Dawson family name." I state as I watch Aston pace around my room.

What's up with Ashton today?

"Don't worry. I can't ruin the family name more than you have already." He says right before hanging up.

I can't help but to take the phone away from my ear and just stare at it.

Did that just happen? The audacity Noah has is amazing. Like honestly. What the fucking hell man.

"Are you off of the phone?" Ashton says which causes me to look up at him.

"Yeah." I state before turning off my phone and placing it on my desk.

"Okay, good." He finally stops pacing and I go back to looking at my laptop. "On the scale of one two ten how mad should we be that Violet is skipping school again?"

His words make me stop short. Did I hear him correctly?

"What?" I ask as I look up from my laptop.

"I said." He clears his throat. "How should we deal with Violet skipping school-" He pauses. "again."

Jesus Christ, my ears didn't defy me. I did hear him correctly the first time. My girl really is skipping school yet again.

Dammit, there I go with the my girl phrase when she doesn't even talk to me. I'm an idiot.

"Nothing. She said she wants space." I say as calmly as possible. "So, we have to respect her wishes."

In reality, I didn't mean a word I said. I didn't want to give her space. I needed to be with her. She controlled and helped the thoughts running through my head. I needed her. If it truly was my decision I'd trail her like a fucking dog, as pathetic as that sounds.

"No, I can't do that." Ashton shakes his head. "She's ours. How many times do we have to go over this shit?"

I can't help but to sigh. "Ashton-" He cuts me off.

"I know damn well you heard my conversation with her on Christmas. I can't continue to play this game with her." He runs a hand through his hair. "I need her more than anything." His eyes and demeanor suddenly look like if he's lost. "What I feel for her is love." I pause at that, but he doesn't notice my reaction and just keeps talking. "I can't keep pretending like I don't want to tell her that I love her so fucking much that it pains me."

"Ashton. We agreed-" He cuts me off yet again.

"No. You, Garrett and Hunter agreed not to tell her that you guys don't just have feelings for her because of fuck knows how many reasons anymore. You guys continue to pretend the words are taboo. But not me. Not anymore." He shakes his head. "She is the only woman apart from my biological mother that I have ever thought about saying the words "I love you" to." He motions to me. "You can keep hiding behind your laptop and hide behind all your bullshit, but I'm done. No more." He shakes his head. "If I go any more time with space between me and her, I'm going to fucking go crazy."

"We've tried talking to her, several times. What does she want from us?" I state which causes him to nod.

"She said she wants the raw truth. She said she wants us for us and nothing else. So, let's give her what she wants. Just us, nothing else." He stays which causes me to freeze.

"And if she doesn't like the unfiltered truth?" I say as I feel my heart racing. "What if just us alone isn't enough?" I ask as I instantly look out the window. "What if we don't end up being what she truly wants?"

The sky is semi clear. It's supposed to rain today, but I guess it's not. I like the rain, why couldn't it rain today?

"It will work." He firmly says which draws my attention back to him. "She's ours in every single way and she's stuck to us. Weather she likes it or not."

"Ashton-" I trail off.

"Ours." He says firmly again before walking out of my classroom.

That's where Ashton has it wrong though. She's not ours, but we are hers. She owns us and I'm sure she hasn't even realized how much she truly does.

Right as I pull out my phone, the first bell of school rings so I rush to get my text through.

Me: Ashton has lost patience and he's about to break.

It takes seconds for me to get a response.

Hunter: Let him. We can't control him.

The typing bubbles keep going.

Hunter: And maybe he's right. We're overthinking this.

Hunter: It's time to let it all go brother. It's time.

Yeah, that's what I'm most afraid of. Letting the girl I fucking love with every cell of my body, know how fucked up I am. How fucking broken I truly am. 

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

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