Ms. Chresanto August

Chapter 17

Nicky's POV:

It began to be regular for me to sit in my bed and reflect on my past relationships and mistakes I've made. And after what happened with Jay, I knew I had to be cautious but I didn't think I would have dealt with something like this with Roc. I really considered him a different kind of man from the rest but he just proved to me that I truly can't trust anyone. As much as I wanted to cry, I was honestly numb. I honestly felt empty. This nigga had some nerve breaking my wall down and sitting there and embarrassing me right in front of my damn face. And it would have made more sense to me if I had gotten a gut feeling that something was wrong with him but I didn't feel anything like that. At all and that was what made it so hard for me to grasp. Watching that girl rub up on him like that, grabbing on the dick I thought was mine now made my stomach churn. If she was that thirsty in public, imagine how she probably treated him when no one was around. And that really bothered me, the effort I put into my reputation. I never wanted to be looked at as easy and I knew I finessed in the bed, I kept that lowkey. I still believed in "lady in the streets, freak in the streets" and of course I would lose Roc to someone who was opposite that. I didn't know who I was expecting Roc to want to be with me forever. He was still a celebrity and had all kinds of females throwing themselves at him constantly. I would be a fool to think eventually he wouldn't find someone prettier or more sexual than me. But I knew that's as far as it would go, nothing beyond looks and sexual personality because I knew my real personality was dope. I know what type of vibe I give up and that shit is unmatched. I began to feel better once I realized her and Roc were both doing me a favor. Me and Roc weren't meant to be together and he was wasting time I could be spending with my future husband. My thoughts were interrupted when I looked up and saw Roc standing in my doorway. The look on his face was extremely nervous, nearly terrified when I noticed him there.

Roc- Nicky, look I know you don't want to talk to me but can I PLEASE explain what happened.

Me- You got your little story together?

Roc- No, no baby. No story. I want to sit down and tell you the truth. 

Me- Before you do that, I want you to be in my shoes for a second. Imagine being somewhere with me and you look over and see some nigga rubbing up on my ass and I just let him? How would you feel? Or think about someone touching all over someone you like?

Roc- I like you Nicky, I really do. 

 I nodded. 

Me- I sure got that today. 

Roc- Nicky, I would never intentionally hurt you. I swear. Can you just give me a chance to talk to you about it? I'm not asking for you to forgive me or anything like that. I just want you to know what really happened. 

I considered it for a few seconds. 

Me- Fine. But if it's not the truth, you don't even have to waste your own time or mine.

He nodded quickly as a look of relief crossed his face.

Roc- Thank you.

He stepped carefully over to my bed.

Roc- Can- can I sit down?

I nodded and made room for him to sit down on the edge of the bed and waited for him to tell me what happened.