Trusting (KTH)

Chapter 28

Taehyung made it back to the hotel room before dinner that night, planning to eat with his wife and talk about everything that had happened. After confirming she hadn't eaten, he organized to have dinner delivered about the time he'd arrive. He also coordinated with Clara's parents to take the boys for a bit so they could talk.

Clara's parents were just leaving with the twins when he arrived. After a quick hug and kiss for both of the boys he went in search of Clara who was unpacking her bag in the bathroom.

"Hey beautiful," he wrapped his arms around her from behind, watching her in the mirror. "Are you ok? I missed you today."

Clara just hummed in confirmation, finishing unloading her things.

"Dinner should be here soon. I'm going to quick change is that ok?"

Clara just nodded and hummed again.

Dinner was a bit awkwardly silent. Clearly Clara was upset and Taehyung was having a hard time figuring out how to engage her. He decided there was no use beating around the bush.

"What are you thinking? Please talk to me."

Clara paused to think. "I think I'm just tired. I didn't really envision all of this and I'm not really cut out for it. I don't really know what to do about that. I'm just tired."

Taehyung grabbed her hands in his. "But I'm here for you, you know that right? I'll do whatever it takes to fix things."

Taehyung couldn't figure out why but Clara seemed to deflate even further.

"I know. I just...I know." Drawing her hands back she moved to stand up. I'd like to take a nap before the boys come back. I'm going to lay down for a bit if that is ok."

"Yes of course sweetheart. Let me come help you get tucked in."

Taehyung followed Clara into the bedroom, pulling back the covers for her and ensuring they were settled comfortably around her. Pulling back the blankets on the other side he crawled in behind her and pulled her to him.

"Tae," Clara started to wiggle away. "I really just would like to have some quiet time please."

Taehyung didn't let go. "I know, but I don't want you to go to sleep while you are angry. I already feel like I'm sinking, please I'm asking you to not shut me out."

Clara sighed but relented. As soon as they were back in their respective spaces Taehyung turned onto his back, pulling Clara with him. He gently ran his fingers through her hair with one hand and up and down her back with the other.

Taehyung began to speak. "I know you are hurting and I'm sorry. I hate it so much. Before we married you asked me to promise you that I'd never cheat on you. I remember telling you that was an easy promise to make. In so many ways that was true. You really are the most important person in the world to me and I'd never want to hurt you."

"I think about that promise I made to you all the time because I meant every word of it. At the same time it is my job to sometimes be flirtatious and to provide fan service. There have been a few times when it got out of control before I was able to reign it back in. I always felt awful afterwards. I saw some of the pictures and I knew some of them were from those moments. At the time I felt like I was doing my job but afterwards I always felt...I can't even describe how I felt. Worthless. Like I'd failed as a husband and as a father. A few times one of the members has even chastised me about it and I know I deserved it."

"I never mentioned it because I didn't want to hurt you or cause you stress but I regret that now. Finding out the way you did was terrible. I should have just been honest earlier."

"Did you sleep with any of those girls? Was anything else true? Please just tell me the truth." Clara held back her tears as she asked.

"It was true that I went through a phase where I went to a lot of clubs and spent time with lots of women. That was a few years before I met you. I think I felt lonely and I didn't know what to do about it. That intimacy made me feel close to someone even for a short amount of time. Now I look back and I know that wasn't a good time in my life. You've cured my loneliness in a way that is more than I could have hoped. I know I never really told you about my past but it was just that. I wasn't very proud of it so I didn't really want to bring it up. I just want you to be proud of me."

"It's just a lot Tae. It's...a...a lot."

"I know," he whispered in return.

Clara started to throw back the covers and sat up. "I'm going to go and check on the boys. I'm afraid they might be fussy after the long flight."

Clara quickly slipped out the door before Taehyung could protest or offer to come with. He knew she deserved her space but he didn't want to risk drifting apart again. As time passed it was clear that Clara wasn't just checking up on the boys. She hadn't been back for nearly an hour.

Making his way next door, Taehyung knocked on her parent's suite. Mr. Kim opened it and stepped into the hallway. "I'm sure you are here to check on Clara and the boys. They are all sleeping. Clara asked if she could lay down here because she wanted some space."

"But Mr. Kim," Taehyung pleaded, "I think Clara and I should talk about it. I made a promise to myself I'd do whatever it took to make sure Clara didn't go to bed angry."

"Tae, I know you mean well but now is not the time. Are you going to wake her up to talk when she's exhausted? I know you want to fix things but this is one of those times you need to give Clara some time to process. There is a lot happening and she deserves to have her own voice heard. The issue is that she doesn't know what she wants at this point."

Taehyung looked downcast. "I understand, she's not sure if she still wants me".

"That's not what I said Taehyung-ah. You know Clara loves you. But right now the world is happening to her and she feels like she's lost control. She just needs some time to clear her thoughts so she can at least tell you what is important for her. I think you have to acknowledge that things aren't really going very well for either of you right now. Maybe if you give her some space she'll be better able to explain what she wants and needs which can help you make the best decisions to support both of you. Think of this as a good thing."

Taehyung sighed. "Ok, I hear you. Can I at least come in and say goodnight to Clara and the boys? Or if you want I can take the boys back with me."

Mr. Kim ushered him into the hotel room. "The boys are already sleeping so it's probably best to leave them. Clara is in the bedroom, you can step in but please try not to wake her."

Taehyung slipped into the dark room and gently placed a kiss on Clara's forehead. "Just don't stay away from me long, ok?"

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The next day the second part of the exclusive with Sooyun came out. How it still made it to the press was anyone's guess considering how hard the company worked to stop it. Clara dreaded seeing more "details" about Taehyung and Sooyun's relationship, but surprisingly the second article hardly seemed to mention Taehyung at all.

Instead Sooyun focused on Clara. It revealed her postpartum depression, her insecurity, how she latched onto Namjoon's parents and was constantly at odds with Taehyung's. Most distressingly, the article included details about Clara's close relationship with Jungkook, adding details about Taehyung finding Clara in Jungkook's bed one morning without any of the surrounding context. It also hinted that she had a relationship with Namjoon.

There were pictures again but this time they were high quality photos. They showed her hanging out with Jungkook in her pajamas, him hugging her, or Jungkook smiling at her fondly.

The company had tried to get everything taken down but once again it was already out there. If Taehyung was having a crisis with everyone believing he was cheating on Clara, she suddenly understood how he must feel.