Trusting (KTH)

Chapter 48

Clara was used to being the first to get on their private flights, but with one of the boys needing a last minute bath and change of clothes they were delayed in their departure from the hotel. Today Clara and the twins, along with Taehyung, were the last to board.

As soon as she got on the plane Taehyung's bandmates welcomed her with warm smiles. She really hadn't talked to any of them except Namjoon and Kookie since the terrible tape was released, but she tried to take a deep breath and remind herself that these men had advocated for her when she wasn't in a bad spot. If Taehyung could feel ok around them, then she could trust them too. Taehyung carried one of the babies toward their seats in the back while Namjoon immediately took the other from Clara's hand to say hello to his nephew before he followed Taehyung toward the rear of the plane.

Clara was feeling too shy to say much to anyone else, particularly considering they knew about the horrible video. But she did stop to say hello to Jungkook on her way to the rear of the aircraft. "Kookie, I heard about your foot. How are you doing?"

Jungkook was only wearing one shoe and Clara could see a flight attendant storing some crutches in a cabinet in the back of the plane.

Jungkook gave Clara a small smile. "Hopefully it will heal soon. I missed part of the concert last night and I may not be able to dance for a little while. I just feel bad for our fans, they didn't pay to watch me sit on a stool. But Dr. Park keeps telling me I'll be able to return sooner if I'm careful and just stay off it, so I'm going to try my best."

Clara gave him a small smile. "Well, let me know if you need anything let me know."

"Thanks Clara," Jungkook gave her a warm smile in return, then grabbed her wrist before she could continue to the back of the plane. "I want you to know that I'm glad you are staying. I think that's a good thing. But remember what I said, you're going to have to continue to push yourself to rebuild your trust in your own judgment and capacity. I'm here to talk about it any time, ok?"

"Thanks Kookie," Clara said quietly. She hadn't really thought much about Jungkook's recommendation since that day, but it was a reminder that she had a lot to think about.

Clara wound her way to the back and after putting her bag away she slipped past Taehyung to the seat by the window. He handed her a squirming baby and then took the other twin from Namjoon. Taehyung looked at Clara and both the boys with love in his eyes. "Alright family, are we ready to go?" he quietly asked.

Clara gently shifted to rest her head on his shoulder as she quietly responded. "I am. It feels like it's time for a new city and hopefully some new, better memories."

They had just taken off when Namjoon returned, asking if he could spend some time with the little cub while claiming he hadn't had enough 'uncle time' to ensure the small boy was adequately spoiled. Taehyung gave the baby a quick kiss and handed him over, pointing Namjoon to where he could find his pacifier in the diaper bag.

In the meantime the little tiger was standing on Clara's lap, bouncing while he sucked on his pacifier. Clara was praising him for his efforts to jump and rewarding him with small kisses to which he offered muffled giggles in return. Once again Taehyung was reminded that this was what his dream of having his family with tour on him was supposed to look like, not the absolute mess it had become.

Clara handed the little tiger to Taehyung so she could use the restroom in the back of the plane, but Taehyung used the opportunity to pass the wiggly boy to Jimin, asking if he would be so kind as to hold the happy child for a bit. Jimin jumped at the chance, breaking into a goofy grin as he made funny noises at the little boy.

Clara was surprised to see both boys in other arms when she returned but Taehyung just ushered her back toward her seat. Before she could make it all the way past he grabbed her waist and pulled her to sit on his lap.

"Tae!" Clara quietly squealed, "What are you doing?"

Taehyung just pulled her closer, settling her sideways on his lap with her back facing the aisle. He gently guided her head so it was snuggled against his neck.

"I feel like I haven't had enough time with you recently and I have some things I want to tell you." Taehyung had noticed Clara seemed more comfortable in the confines of the plane, free from any potentially prying eyes or ears. While he didn't want to mention it, he wanted to take advantage of the opportunity.

Clara stiffened a little at his words but began to relax as Taehyung assured her it was only good things, covering her head with kisses before he began to speak quietly so only Clara could hear.

"Do you know when I'm the happiest?"

Clara shook her head with a small "no", pulling back a bit so she could see Taehyung more easily. He gently pulled her closer, snuggling her back into his neck before he continued.

"I'm happiest when I have you in my arms. If you asked me a few years ago I would have said something else, like being on stage and hearing the crowd around me. But now I've realized my world and my happiness really do revolve around you and the boys."

He could feel Clara relaxing into him a bit more. He gave her a soft peck on her hair before he continued. "But I have a confession to make."

Clara stiffened again just a bit at these words.

"Sometimes when I hold you at night it can be hard to sleep. I get so distracted thinking about how perfect you are for me and how much I love you and how lucky I am to have you and the boys. Sometimes I can't stop my mind from racing, thinking of all of our good memories and how many more I want to make together."

Clara relaxed a bit more again, and Taehyung tucked her even closer.

"You really are the most beautiful person I know, both inside and out. You've filled every lonely crack in my heart and then made it overflow with good things. Your sweet words, your gentle touch, your encouragement, two beautiful boys and the amazing little one you have inside. You are the center of our family and my universe."

He could feel Clara nuzzling in closer, starting to curl in from her shyness.

"I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. You fill every room with an undeniable light, drawing others toward you with a soft kindness that is truly special. If I could, I'd give you the whole entire world to show you how much you mean to me."

"Thank you for being you." He continued, "Thank you for being my friend, my wife, my muse, my lover, and my anchor. And thank you for choosing me. I promise I'll spend my whole life trying to prove to you how much that means to me."

Clara melted further at each word. Her past few weeks had been overwhelmed by criticism, self-doubt, and anxiety. She felt she had lost herself in the process. While it was hard for her to believe all of Taehyung's words, she could rest for a moment in the knowledge that he loved her. As far as everything was concerned right here and now, that was all that truly mattered.

She missed these sweet and gentle interactions, held close in his arms while he showered her with soft touches and nourishing words. While so much was still going wrong, she couldn't help but allow herself to feel at ease, even if only for a moment. Safe in the embrace of the man she loved.