Trusting (KTH)

Chapter 46

As soon as she mentioned it, Taehyung realized he should have thought of Clara's final concern himself. It seemed so obvious upon reflection.

"Tae...", Clara took a long pause wanting to make sure she was careful in what she said. "I know it can't be helped and it isn't their fault, but I feel uncomfortable that some of the staff here have seen the video. I feel like some of them look at me now in a way that...I don't know, it just isn't right. I know they don't mean to, but I don't feel very good about having to spend every day with people who I can tell by the look on their face that they have seen the recording. It's already awkward enough that people know it exists. Have to spend time with people who have seen it and look at me differently...it just feels awful."

"Ok sweetheart, I understand what you're saying. Can you tell me who in particular is making you uncomfortable?"

Clara began to flush before she quickly looked away.

Taehyung reached for her cheek and turned her back to face him. "Baby girl, I want to help you here, but we can't send the entire manager staff home. If you tell me who I can ask the company to do something about it, but I can't do that without a name."

"Well, I know it's not his fault and I really don't want to get him into trouble!" Clara could feel her anxiety spiking

"A name sweetheart. I need you to give me a name please." Taehyung remained firm. Now that he was aware of the issue it was as important to him that it be fixed as it was to Clara. To do that he really needed to know who it was.

Clara deflated a bit. "Well, um." She trailed off to a whisper, "I feel most uncomfortable around Minjun." As soon as she said his name Clara quickly caveated, defending him. "I'm so sorry, I know it isn't his fault. Really. I don't want him to get in trouble I just...it might be better if we had some space."

Taehyung kissed her forehead. "I'll take care of it. Is there anyone else?"

"Well," Clara looked at her husband with pleading eyes. "Yijoon too but not as much. I can tell he feels just as awkward about it as I do so I feel sorry for him."

"I understand," Taehyung kissed her forehead again. "Let me talk to the manager and see what we can do." Taehyung already knew that he'd ask for Minjun to be sent back to Korea and replaced with a new manager while Yijoon could probably just be reassigned to tasks that made it less likely that he'd run into Clara. The company had been so accommodating earlier that it felt hard to imagine they wouldn't agree to this additional request.

Taehyung held Clara a little closer and whispered in her ear. "Now I think it's time to talk about you and about us."

Clara sniffled but nodded her head.

"First of all, I think you should return to seeing your therapist more often. You've been through so much, having someone to help you process everything that has happened would be good for you. What do you think?'

Clara nodded but avoided eye contact.

"Good. Now second, I want you sleeping in the same bed with me at night. It's important to me to hold you in my arms and if you're honest I think you've come to feel the same way. What do you think?"

Clara still avoided eye contact but nodded. After a pause she began to speak. "Tae, I'll return to the bed but I don't want you to misunderstand, I don't feel like I'm ready for anything else right now. I'm so sorry, but I need more time."

Taehyung rocked her back and forth in his arms. "I understand baby girl. Just holding you is enough for me right now. Later, when you're feeling stronger, we can explore doing other things."

Clara nuzzled into his chest. "Thank you, Tae"

They sat on the coach with Taehyung's arms wrapped around Clara while she continued to bury her face in his chest. He gently continued to slowly rock her back and forth, humming a soothing melody.

"Oh, there's one more thing," Taehyung remembered. "I think we should move the twins back into our room too. I miss having them around and I know it's more convenient for you to nurse if they are nearby. What do you think about that?"

Clara drew away a bit from his chest. "Oh, um sure, but I'm not really nursing anymore."

Now this felt like a surprise. "Really? Why not? I know how special it was for you to be with the boys that way. Did something happen?"

"Well," Clara hesitated a moment, "I think it was a bunch of things. It's just been stressful, and I was too nervous to be with the boys for a while. And I think my body may be changing already due to my pregnancy. I just...well...my supply kind of dried up. I hope you aren't upset. I really do want the best for the twins."

"Oh sweetheart," Taehyung held her closer again. "I think our boys have benefited from nursing, but we all knew that eventually you'd need to transition. It seems like this was that time. I'm more concerned about you."

Clara sighed but nodded. "It will be fine. Honestly everything else has just been so overwhelming that it's hard to even think about it right now. Maybe later I'll be more upset, but for the moment I know that I can still snuggle the boys close even if I'm holding a bottle."

Taehyung gave her a soft smile. "I'm glad. Now I just want to work on getting things back to some kind of normal. I really am so sorry about everything that has happened. I promise we're going to fix it. One other promise, as soon as the tour is done I'm going to take you and the boys away for a long vacation where we aren't always on the move and I'm not constantly pulled off to other responsibilities. We're going to spend some time just with our little family being together in a safe little nest. How does that sound?"

Clara gave Taehyung a small smile in return, possibly one of the first smiles he'd seen in the last week. "I'd like that Tae, and I think the boys would too. It will give us something to look forward to."

After a few more minutes of holding each other close Taehyung and Clara drew apart, both of them knowing that they had responsibilities they needed to take care of. Taehyung needed to check-in with Namjoon so he could make the necessary request for the staff to be reconfigured. He also wanted to drop by and thank both Yoongi and Hobi for their help in advocating for him and Clara with the company. It made their entire conversation much easier when the company agreed to do whatever it took to make this work for Clara and the boys.

Clara needed to go back to her parents room to check in with them and to collect the boys' crib and other things so they could be moved back in with her and Taehyung. When she arrived her mother pulled her aside to confirm that Clara really was settled with the plan and she wasn't just being agreeable out of a sense of obligation. Clara acknowledged that she wasn't sure she would ever feel truly safe again, but at least she knew that it was a good plan and it made sense to her. There was really only a few months left. Hopefully nothing else could go wrong at this point.