𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐅𝐔𝐋 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐎𝐒

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟒𝟏

LILIANA

Jaxon left the hospital room and I shut my eyes, tears falling nonstop. Nothing needed to be explained to me, I remember everything. From the breakup to the accident, to how long I've been passed out.

I went inside the restroom and pulled my patient's shirt up, I gasped when I saw the bandage on my stomach. It was painful. That's the moment I realized I was scarred. God, no. Please, no. I held onto the sink and I sobbed, biting my lip so no one could hear.

I couldn't even breathe, I didn't care. I hated everything. Does Jaxon still love me? Are my friends okay? Are my parents here? I tightened my grip on the sink and I slammed my hand on the counter. I walked back to the room after I washed my face, I spotted a bunch of papers beside the nightstand, curiosity caught me and I grabbed them while sitting on the bed.

I recognized the writing, Jaxon. It  didn't take me long enough to comprehend the fact that these were letters, letters that Jaxon wrote for me. I opened the first one and started reading.

Dear Liliana,

The only thing I wish is that you to wake up. I realized how much I've hurt you. I didn't listen to you, I only dared to break your heart. You are worth much more than me. I don't know how could you ever love a guy like me. I'm nothing but darkness, you are everything anyone needs. You help others, you care about people and you manage to make me smile.

When I heard about the accident, it was the first time I had gotten a panic attack. I have never gotten one, never. I didn't realize how painful it was. How you run out of oxygen, but  everything is blurry, how you are shaking and you can't control yourself. I felt weak. You probably never expected it, but I felt so fucking weak. I ruined everything. From Marcella's life to yours. I never deserved you.

I want you to read these and never forgive me, I want to live the pain you went through in this coma. I want to break my heart just as I broke yours. I hate myself, not only because I let you down but because I was the reason behind all of this. Please, if you ever return my heart, return it shattered because I deserve it.

I cried, not because of those words but because he is blaming himself. I opened all the letters and read through them. I read every single one, every word, every teardrop. I don't understand, I was the one who betrayed him, why does he feel bad? The nurse came to change my bandage, but after that, I snuck out of the hospital room and found my parents, and my best friends.

My parents were the first ones to pull me in a hug and place kisses on my head, I felt safe now. "I missed you, sweetie." Mom kissed my cheek. "I missed you both, I love you guys," I whispered.

"Hello," I whispered to Avery, Marci, and Stella. They all smiled, but it wasn't their usual smile, it was small and forced. I furrowed my eyebrows at them and shook my head. I was waiting for one big hug, but nothing came. I missed them, didn't they miss all of us together?

"What happened?" I gulped down the lump in my throat.

"Nothing, how are you? Do you feel better?" Marcella smiled wider this time. I nodded but I still didn't like the way they behaved. Were they okay?

"Can someone tell me what's going on? Did you guys fight?" I asked.

"No, you should go see Jaxon, he's on the rooftop. We're okay, we love you." Avery kissed my cheek. I nodded and turned around, feeling a sting in my heart. What the hell happened while I was gone?