The Sympathizer

Chapter 9

*Spicy scene at the end. Feel free to skip that part if it makes you uncomfortable*

Wisps of wind tickle the back of my neck as Lazarus and I half jog to his space ship.

"Lazarus," I giggle, half out of breath, half giddy because we've stopped numerous times on the way to make out.

It's never enough. I want to pin him against the side of the bottle aircraft next to us and kiss him with everything I have.

Time has been lost to me. I've forgotten all about the Plutonians gathered at the grand hall to celebrate my birthday tonight. Something tugs at the back of my mind, a memory trying to claw its way to the surface but Lazarus tugs my wrist and I forget all about it.

We finally reach his ship located at the restricted section of the massive hangar. Only the General's and Trinity's ships are kept here. We rush down the steps and I nearly trip in my gown when we cross the last rung.

Lazarus holds on to me tightly, as if afraid I will leave him at any second. He catches my fall, kissing my forehead before he laughs.

"How much did you drink tonight?" He murmurs in my hair and I close my eyes, every cell in my body filling with joy at our proximity.

I look up at him, my eyes finding his and he's so absolutely beautiful it makes my heart ache. "It's not the drinks that have intoxicated me."

His lips part and he looks like he wants to kiss me again, the hunger in his eyes making him almost animalistic.

"Come." His fingers intertwine with mine and he leads me up the platform that has opened up for us.

The smell of my favourite flower from Cixin hits me first and I look around his ship to see that he has laid out all of my favourites, making the control room look like a small nursery. Air humidifiers send cooling blasts of mist from the top four corners of the room and Lazarus keys in our coordinates, readying us for lift off.

I watch him work, watch the muscles in his forearms flex as he pulls lever after lever, securing our forcefields and activates the magnetic sensors that will keep our feet on the ground.

Once he is done, he pours us both a drink and the bubbly fizzles deliciously inside my flute as I take it from him.

"To you," He says, clinking his glass gently to mine. "Happy birthday to my favourite person in the entire galaxy."

I blush profusely even though I know he's always been a smooth talker and that he might be over exaggerating.

"To us," I say in response and his eyes light up in surprise. He looks uncertain when he takes a sip of his drink, making me wonder if he doesn't believe me.

"Why do you always doubt me when I choose you? You know how I feel. How I've always felt." I say tentatively after a short pause. I can't help myself, even though a part of me is afraid this question might ruin the fun we've been having so far.

Lazarus purses his lips looking hesitant. The silence that ensues makes my stomach churn with apprehension. For a moment I wonder if he will turn the ship around and head back to Pluto.

Finally he sighs, a deep long sigh making it look like he's releasing a year's worth of pent up tension.

"Because..." His eyes dart to the walls and then the ceiling, looking anywhere but at me. "Because no one ever chooses me."

He finishes his drink in one gulp and then turns around to refill his glass.

I stare at his retreating form, watching him and a heaviness grows in my chest. Has he always felt this way? I've grown up viewing him as this enigmatic, passionate, gregarious sort of person. I always thought this was a part of his character, his charm.