The Sympathizer

Chapter 11

Lucian is sitting across from me in the office room, his nose buried in the Fifteen Planet article the Plutonian press published today. The atmosphere has been tense ever since I found out he was assigned to the same site visit. We haven't interacted much since my birthday celebration.

I notice how his eyes glaze over ever so often, like he's fighting against falling asleep. He pretends not to notice me, gaze fixed on the tablet screen even though he hasn't scrolled down the page for the past quarter cycle. 

"If you want to sleep, just sleep," I say tightly, noticing how his shoulders tense when I speak. He's been that way the entire flight, icy cold and indifferent to my presence. 

"What do you think the generals would say if they saw me dozing off in the middle of a cycle?" He answers mechanically, not looking up from the screen in front of him. 

"They would think we were taking shifts. I will cover for you." I reply. Last I checked, taking a nap wasn't illegal.

"There's hardly any need for a nap when we're travelling on a hyperlane. We'll be reaching Earth anytime now." Lucian's tone is hard and stony. He's never been so cold towards me before. 

I wish my relationship with Lazarus didn't affect my relationship with Lucian but it's slowly becoming apparent that by choosing one I will lose the other. And I'm not ready for anything remotely close to that. 

The thought of losing either Lucian or Lazarus is enough to paralyse me with fear. I can't imagine a future without either one of them. My thoughts drift to the tablet I found at Lazarus's bar, the one with the assassination proposal. 

I look at Lucian and my eyebrows furrow with worry. I can't let him isolate me right now, not when he might need me. 

"I said I was sorry," I tell him in exasperation. "Are you ever going to forgive me?" 

"Forgive you?" Lucian finally looks up at me, gracing me with his attention. 

I sigh and hold out my palms in surrender. "I'm sorry I didn't meet you that night on my birthday. You still haven't told me why you wanted to meet in the first place? What was the surprise?" 

"There was no surprise. I was going to give you your birthday present. That's all." Lucian turns back to the article he has been pretending to read. 

"The priceless artefact you had sent over to my house?" I recall the exquisite necklace he had made from remnants of the legendary Gold Star ship that had blown up in Fire Constellation two Plutonian years ago. 

The effort it must have taken to track down the coordinates where it had exploded and then to collect each individual piece to make into a a necklace is something I didn't think possible. 

"It's beautiful," I smile at him. "I wore it for the launch of our new army base inauguration, did you notice?" 

He nods but that's the most I get from him and after a while I get sick of the silent treatment. I place my palms on my thighs and get up, leaving the office room to see what the rest of the crew are up to. 

Most of my squad members are manning the control room with Lucian's squad, while the others are in the pantry. 

"Got anything to drink?" I take a seat amongst them. Remulus, Lucian's infamous playboy commander is quick to address me. 

"PG Luna, of course. Would you like something strong or perhaps something more relaxing?" He gestures to the array of multicoloured bottles stacked behind us. 

"Surprise me," I say tiredly, thoughts of Lucian and Lazarus making it hard for me to decide. 

Commander Remulus jumps up from his seat and I notice my officer, Alya watching his movements as he prepares a drink for me. He mixes some green and purple liquid together and it fizzles, turning a stunning yellow after a few seconds.