The Sympathizer

Chapter 10

The polls came in a cycle ago. Lucian is a clear crowd favourite, coming in first, then Lazarus, then me.

I wasn't that surprised after I disappeared the night of my birthday and skipped on the following proceedings the next day. My parents were livid but it still feels like I'm floating in a cloud of condensation, hazing out the rest of the world.

My heart has been taken, a part of it remains atop that mountain in Cixin, in the cabin Lazarus made for me. We spent three days in that cabin, completely ignoring the rest of the universe and our duties.

To say the sex was phenomenal would be an understatement and maybe Lazarus feels the same way because we haven't been able to keep our hands off each other since we came back.

I twirl the seasoned vegetable on my plate with a fork, counting down the minutes till I can escape this draggy dinner to meet with him.

"Luna," General Grievous says after swallowing a large piece of medium rare wargol. "Have you thought about marrying yet? I notice you have been spending a lot of time with Lazarus."

I bite my lip to keep that ridiculous loved up smile from forming on my face as my parents study me.

"I only just turned eighteen. I haven't thought of marriage yet." I answer tentatively.

"You know you have my full support with, Lazarus. He might need your help to obtain a majority vote when twelve moons go by." My father says it quietly but the finality in his tone makes it seem like an instruction.

My skin prickles with annoyance even though the thought of marrying Lazarus feels like a dream come true. After all these moons my parents still think that I'm incapable of leadership. That I need to marry someone and become their side piece to gain their approval.

Their thought process is so primitive, I wonder why they still think like this when the rest of our civilisation moved on years ago.

"I don't need to marry him to become first in command. Or Lucian." The mention of Lucian stings slightly. I was supposed to meet him the night of my birthday but I'd completely forgotten about it until I came back to Pluto three cycles later.

Every time I think about him, guilt consumes me but aside from apologising I haven't been able to do much else. I've barely seen him because he's been busy with his missions.

"At the rate you're going, you'd be lucky to make it as third in command." My mother bristles sarcastically, her long nails clutching the stem of a crystal glass flute as she takes a delicate sip of sea apple wine.

My lips purse and I look down at my food. "It's just one poll. They change every week."

"Lucian's a strong contender. He always comes out first or second." My father says mechanically but the dislike is evident on his face. It's no secret he hates Lucian's father, General Mondric. "Everyone on that war council loves Mondric."

The jealousy on my father's face is highlighted by the swirling turquoise green lights from our ceiling.

"We can't let him come out on top. General Lyra already holds too much power. Do you know she was recently elected as the advisor for the Trade and Affairs commissions board?" My mother says angrily. "You must marry Lazarus. That is the only way we can kick the arrogance off that family's face."

If only my mother knew how much I disagreed with that statement. Despite my parents sentiments, I love both General Lyra and Lucian. Even General Mondric has been kinder to me  than my parents ever were.

Growing up I spent most of my time with General Lyra and she grew to become the mother I never had and Lucian would make an exceptional leader. Everyone on Pluto knows that.