The Sympathizer

Chapter 29

The panic takes awhile to settle in. At first I think this might be completely normal. That my parents pawning me off to the son they always wanted must be the most natural thing since we got engaged. 

I place my communicator on the bed and start doing routine things that I would normally do once back from work. I comb my hair, take a bath, change into a fresh set of clothes. My hands are shaking when I apply serum to my face. 

I stare at my reflection under the undulating system of lights that crisscross each other in Lazarus's bathroom. The lights in my room would have been static, the voice activated system I installed responding solely to me, shutting them off and turning them on at my whim and fancy. 

I croak out an instruction, trying to see if Lazarus has the same thing. There's no response and that fact, coupled with the penetrating silence finally gets to me. 

Tears roll down my face and I smash my fist against the mirror in front of me. It's reinforced, so I only end up hurting myself, the pain reverberating up my forearm making my bite my lip. I swallow my panic and rush to the door. 

Lazarus said he was going to check on dinner but that felt like eons ago. Why hasn't he come back? Why can't I reach anyone on my communicator? 

I think of all the Plutonians I should be corresponding with. Axis has been monitoring the labs, he could have gotten back to me by now. Lucian has been eerily silent, I haven't heard from him since the engagement was announced and now the need for him grows exponentially. 

Lucian would know what to do. He will be able to help me. 

I key in his number on my communicator and press for the call to go through but the rotating icon on my screen tells me the signal is lagging. I let out a small scream of frustration and begin pounding on the door. 

"Let me out!! Let me out! Lazarus!!" I scream until my throat feels raw, like someone has run their nails down my oesophagus. A bout of coughing ensues, so intense that I buckle over, falling on my knees in the process. 

A racking cough runs through me, threatening to burst through my ribs. I don't realise when the door opens and Lazarus rushes in to help me up. My chest aches, nothing comes out but I can't seem to stop coughing. 

"Luna, I'm here. I'm here." He presses a palm against my chest and another runs up and down my back repeatedly. His voice is smooth like velvet, meant to be soothing but it has the opposite effect on me. 

I start shaking even more. I push against him as tears run down my cheeks. "Get away from me!" 

"Luna," Lazarus's eyes, those beautiful eyes I used to be so obsessed with watch me with blatant worry. I feel like poking them out so he can stop staring at me like that. 

"I said get away!" I screech. I tumble away from him, out of his room. The sight of the familiar hallway draws oxygen into my lungs and I take in a deep breath, so sharp it sears through my chest. 

My shoulder hits the wall and I push against it, moving away from him and his room. 

"Where are you going? You're not in the right state of mind, Luna." 

I feel him approaching and quicken my pace. The bubble of panic starts to grow in my belly again. I feel like one of those foxes he used to hunt whenever we visited Proxima B. My brain churns, fingers tightening around my communicator. I can't outrun him, me crawling against the walls isn't going to stop him from trapping me in my room again. 

I press the dial icon again and this time the line goes through. Lucian answers after the third ring and I quickly bring it to my ear. 

"Lucian, I need you," My voice breaks again, the feeling of betrayal and hurt bubbling its way up my throat. "Please save me."