TEACH ME PROFESSOR [Elizabeth Olsen]

Chapter 77 - A dead body on the chair

Y/N'S POV

"Come on, sit down" she orders once the door is closed
"I'll talk to the coach and try not to get you expelled but you have to apologize to him" she tells me
"I've apologize to him? Are you fucking kidding me?" i get nervous
"No y/n i'm very serious, you exaggerated" she folds her arms
"But did you see him? He was just waiting to fuck yo-"
"Oh God y/n stop, you almost hit him, do you understand that it's serious?" she says getting nervous too
"I had every reason to, he was touching you too much!" i say in my defense
"Yeah well thanks i could have managed by myself but instead you always have to magnify everything" she rolls her eyes.
Ok she's probably really angry.
"What about your apology? I'm still waiting for it" I comment
"Sorry, what?" she asks widen her eyes
"Well about this morning and then you broke your promise" i explain
"Are you kidding me y/n? Really? After all the shit you just made! You got fucking drunk and you were about to hit someone! Do you understand how uncomfortable you made me?" she yells, waving her arms and pacing around the locker room
"Well it's your fault so don't fuck with me Lizzie" i mumble, she tilts her head.
"But do you hear how you talk? You keep mumbling only swear words and you act like a child.
Don't try to blame me. This is your choice, you chose to drink, you chose to act like this, okay? You can't always blame everyone for how you behave" she points her finger at me raising her voice and i think I've never seen her so angry but above all disappointed in me.
"Well i don't know what to do about it okay? I've always solved my problems like this and i don't know any other way!" i try to get up to go to my locker but i lose my balance, but she runs in time grabbing me and makes me sit back on the bench.
Then she walks away from me shaking her head.
"Look at you y/n, you can't even stand up" she whispers with her voice now broken by tears, i can't even lift my head to look at her, because even if i'm trying to keep a wall between me and her it fucking hurts me to know that i'm letting her down right now.
"You should help me not accuse me, i don't need to be told how shit i am, i already know thanks" i reply trying not to cry, bringing out my cold side so as not to be destroyed further.
"I didn't mean that y/n and you know it well" she sighs approaching me and sitting next to me i keep my head down avoiding her gaze.
"But i don't know what to do, you understand? I thought i was enough, that i was enough to defeat your demons" she tries to take my hand but i push it away
"Don't touch me" i yell turning to the other side.
I sense her guilt, but not as much as mine which blinds me.
I hear her sigh heavily
"Please don't do that, don't make things harder" she whispers
"I'm just a problem for you huh? A burden you can't handle. Well you should have thought of that first Elizabeth, because i am who i am and I don't know what to do about it!" I scream and meanwhile the tears slide down my face burning it.
"Don't even say that, you-you're not a burden it's just-"
"What? Say it come on, say it that you don't-" Something awakens in my stomach, which twists more and more until it becomes unbearable.
I jumped up and ran to the bathroom ending up throwing up.
Moments later i feel Lizzie kneel behind me, gently gathering my hair in her hand and rubbing my back with the other.
"Don't worry, throw it all out" she whispers to me

After a while i let myself go leaning against the wall, she does the same leaning against the bathroom door, facing each other.
I bring my knees up to my face, hiding it between them, i don't want Lizzie to see me cry.
"You know you don't have to hide from me right?" she says gently crossing her legs.
I don't answer, nor do i want to look at her.
Instead, she stares at me sadly.
"Maybe we should take a break" she says out of the blue and there a searing pain in my chest pervades me.
"Are you trying to break up with me?" i ask her, finally raising my head to look at her, when she sees my face something breaks inside her too.
"No, absolutely not, don't even say that as a joke y/n" she says
"It seems to me that you're trying to do it" i wipe away the tears.
She approaches me, tries to dry my tears but i push her away.
"Go away" i yell at her
"Come here" she tries to hug me but i squirm
"Let me go! Let me go i don't want you! I don't want you, i don't-" i scream trying to push her away but she insists and grabs me hugging me tightly and i sink into her arms bursting into tears.
"I would never let you understand? Never.
I fucking love you and i could never do this to you, to us. It hurts to see you like this, the alcohol is speaking for you right now. I just think we should take a break, it'll be good for both of us.
I will stay in New York for a few days and you will be able to clarify your ideas.
I want you to ask for help y/n, to keep the promises you made me before leaving the hospital.
I want you to start treating yourself the way you deserve and if you really want to start this journey i'll be proud to be by your side, but you really have to want it honey. I love you and you know it but i can't save you alone" she whispers to me but her words just sound like bullshit to me, she wants to get rid of me but she's too nice to do it directly.
If she doesn't do it then i will.
I push her away and she feels bad.
"Go away Elizabeth" i reply coldly.
Yes, i would like her to stay here with me, i would like her to hug me, but right now i hate her.
"Y/n please try to understand-"
"I told you to go away, i want to be alone" I interrupt her
"I don't want to see you like this, it hurts me-"
"Then move your fucking ass and get out of here! I don't want you understand? And I don't want to pity you! Get out the fuck! Get out!" i scream at her so much that she seems to get scared.
She remains standing, frozen looking at me.
A little later i see Cassie arrive with a worried expression on her face.
"What the hell is going on? I heard screaming and- y/n what-what's going on?" she looks at me and then at Lizzie who is still standing staring at me.
"Isn't that clear to you? I told you to get out of here!" i scream at her again, she visibly tries to hold back the tears and that's when she grabs her bag and starts to leave, but she turns back to me
"Just think about what i told you okay? I love you y/n, and i will always love you" she whispers in a voice broken by tears and then disappears.
When i hear the door close, i finally burst into tears.
My friend runs up to me and hugs me tightly and i hold on to her arms.
"She's gone Cassie, she's really gone. She doesn't want me" i sob i pushed her away but i thought she would fight for me after everything we've been through and instead she walked away.