TEACH ME PROFESSOR [Elizabeth Olsen]

Chapter 46 - 'Till the end with you

LIZZIE'S POV

The steps are heavy, i hardly drag my legs step by step in that hallway so long that it seems infinite.
It's all so cold, the colors are faded, there isn't a ray of sunshine.
I hate this place and especially the idea of ​​being here because the person i love is here.
The last time i was in this hospital it was with her, she introduced me to her mother, my heart broke to pieces at the idea of ​​how much she could suffer because of that situation but i was also happy because for the first time she opened up to me and was learning to trust me.
Then i destroyed everything and she stopped trusting someone like me, who would run away at the first problem, leaving her alone.
My chest hurts thinking that in addition to what she was experiencing with her family situation, i added more pain to her life bringing her here today, to this hospital, to one of these rooms along this hallway.

I shouldn't even be here maybe, i mean i'm the reason of why she's here, but i'm here because she deserves to know everything, she deserves to know that i would never do anything to intentionally hurt her, she deserves at least to listen to me or at least i hope she will.
She needs hope and so do i and i know that even if she's hated me lately a part of her maybe still loves me and i want to believe that it's thanks to the love we have for each other we'll give each other strength and we'll get through this together.
I'm here for her and this time i won't run away.

"Good morning, excuse me, do you know where i can find a person, she should be in this hospital" i kindly ask to a nurse
"Morning miss, sure i'll check now" she says, going behind the computer and doing her research.
"What is her name?"
"Y/n y/l/n" i say and she widens her eyes, surprised to hear her name.
"Oh...what a coincidence" she affirms
"What?" i tilt my head confused
"Uhm nothing sorry, by the way she's in the room 209, she's in intensive care" she smiles tenderly at me as my heart races at those words.
"May i ask what condition she is in?" i question pretending nothing happened even if i'm so confused right now.
"Oh uhm from what i've read here Miss y/l/n had a car accident, fortunately she was brought here immediately and apart from some fractures she didn't suffer any further damage except to her head which caused her to go into a coma, i'm so sorry ...are you a member of her family?" she asks
"Uhm no, but she's the most important person in my life" i say with a hint of a smile and she seems to understand.
"Oh i got it, well i should be neutral but i can understand what you're going through i'm sure everything will be fine, love always wins and you must be strong for your lover now" she says softly
"Thank you so much, have a nice day" i greet her and she does the same to then start looking for y/n's room.

Shortly after i see the number of her room and i get closer until i get in front of her door.

I can't help but think of the nurse's expression.
Why was she so surprised to hear y/n's name?
Perhaps she connected it with her sister's, being a nurse too even though she doesn't work here, or because everyone knows y/n by now since she often came to visit her mother.
Yet something bothers me, like if something had been hidden from me.

I stood at her door, unsure if this was the right thing to do.
Do i really deserve to be here?
Maybe not, but i can't stay away from her at a time like this.
I put my hand on the door, shiver at the thought of what i might see on the other side, take a deep breath, and walk inside.
The beeps invade my ears, it's the only sound in this room.
Step by step i get closer, until my eyes see what i never wanted to see.
Right now i would like to be somewhere else but this is exactly where i have to be, my punishment, this is what i created, actually destroyed.
Her frail, pale body is lying on that bed, motionless, as if she were sleeping, but with the difference that i can't wake her up.
Threads wrap her around, an IV keeps her alive.
Her legs are full of cuts and bruises, as are her bony arms and beautiful face.
The more i look at her, the more i feel like throwing up thinking that she has become like this for me.
Not only the injuries from the accident, but also her thinness, her physical health, she let herself be completely abandoned, i broke the few certainties that kept her alive.