Say You Love Me (Under Major Editing)

Diverted Attention

Grezza's POV

I felt disgusted, used, and most of all irrelevant.

Alam ko naman eh. I know from the start that he just wanted me to help him, him to use me. Pero masakit parin pala. Masakit parin kapag isinampal sa akin ang katotohanang matapos kong ibigay ang lahat ay hindi parin ako sapat.

I am not fucking enough for him—for him to forget her. And even he's inside me all he could think of is my sister.

Tears continuously pooled out of my eyes. I want to scream out my lungs to release the pain but my mouth just trembled.

He's still on top of me. He's starting to calm and minutes later he eased his shaft out of me and stood up. He quickly dressed up and didn't even mind to look at me.

When he was done dressing up, he sat down beside me and heaved out a sigh.

Nanatili akong nakahiga but I grabbed the towel he was using awhile back and covered my body. Hindi ko alam kung dapat ba akong magsalita o kung sino ba sa amin ang dapat na magsalita. Then, after few more deep sighs, he spoke but I just hoped that he just shut his mouth.

"G-grezza... I'm s-sorry." I closed my eyes.

Sorry?

Is that all he could say? Is he sorry for harshly taking me, completely forgetting that I was a virgin?

Is he sorry for using me and that I deserve better than this?

Or

Is he sorry because even if I open my legs and welcome him, it's still damn impossible for him to forget his undying love for my sister?

I sobbed. I don't care if I would look more pathetic in his eyes because right at this moment, I am feeling like I shouldn't have been born into this world.

Pakiramdam ko wala akong kwenta at kahit na minsan ay hindi ako karapatdapat na mahalin.

Tumalikod ako sa kanya and clutch the pillow beside me. Ibinaon ko ang aking mukha sa unan at hinayaan ang sarili kong umiyak at ilabas ang lahat ng sakit, hinanakit, at pagsisisi na nagpakatanga ako ng dahil sa pesteng pag-ibig.

Hanggang sa naramdaman ko ang paglapat ng kanyang kamay sa hubad kong likod.

"Grezza, please speak..." He said whispering but I just bit my lip. Ano bang dapat kong sabihin?

"A-are y-you angry? Do you regret what w-we did?" He said almost not being able to finish his question.