Sink or Swim || Outer Banks || JJ Maybank

Chapter 11

A/N: Memories are in italic 

"I'm just saying, you've never wanted to go on deliveries with us before," Madison sorted the bags that Heyward was passing to JJ and Pope.

"Just don't be going out to fish," Heyward looked directly at JJ, eyeing him. "I promised these deliveries by this afternoon."

Madison took a bag from Pope and put it towards the bow, having arranged all the bags in order from the closest to the furthest customer. "We'll be done in no time, Pops. Ms. Hughes said she might reach out to you. Thinking of offering a pick up and drop off laundry service to drum up some more business."

"You have her give me a call and we can talk about it," Heyward passed the last bag to JJ as Pope started up the boat.

They had just pulled away from the dock when Pope shook his head, "I swear he prefers you over me."

"Oh stop," Madison playfully shoved his shoulder. "He loves you."

JJ leaned against the side of the boat, twirling a pocket knife, seemingly lost in thought. Madison walked over to him and caught his line of sight. He offered her a smile but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Hey."

"Hey, you think any harder smoke is going to come out of your ears," she tried to tease him but when he didn't quip back her own smile faded. "Whatcha thinking about? This have anything to do with why you wanted to go out with us today?"

Madison had been doing deliveries for Heyward for months now and this was the first time JJ had ever joined her or Pope and while she wasn't complaining about spending more time with him she could tell there was something on his mind.

JJ wasn't going to admit how guilty he had felt for suggesting she go out with Peyton. The fear that coursed through him when he saw her lying on the beach. A fear so great he didn't even know it was possible to be that terrified. She had woken up and a few memories came back to her, she remembered going to the party, calling John B, and waking up feeling like crap but the rest was still a blur.

"J?" Madison looked over her shoulder to make sure they were far enough away from Pope that their conversation wouldn't be overheard before putting a hand on his arm, trying to break him out of his thoughts. "Are you okay?"

No, he wasn't. He hadn't realized until that very moment just how much he loved her. He thought he did. He thought he knew what love was until it was almost taken away from him and now he knew without a doubt he was in love with Madison Routledge...and it scared the ever living shit out of him. They had always been protective over each other but this was a whole new level and he was still trying to wrap his head around it. It was why he hadn't let her out of his sight since she had woken up three days ago.

"Yeah," he answered, leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

Pope cleared his throat, the other two hadn't even noticed he had docked at the first stop. "I got this one. You two have your moment."

"We're not having a moment," Madison rolled her eyes as Pope tied off the boat.

There was a comfortable silence while they waited for Pope to return as Madison moved the next customer's order to the side. JJ took a deep breath, "Why haven't you said it since the day at the beach?"

"What?" Madison turned to him, not knowing what he was talking about.

He chewed his bottom lip and shut the pocket knife before shoving it back in his pocket. "Do you regret it?"

"What - Do you mean 'I love you'?" She asked, it was the only thing she could think he'd be asking about. And she didn't. Not one bit but she also didn't want to admit that she was scared. She had said it twice. One time he said it back. The other he didn't. It was a fifty fifty chance and while she was probably being ridiculous she didn't want to go back to the awkwardness.