The Rejected Alpha

Chapter 117

Her ribbon?

I didn't know what to think as I stared at the surprisingly crisp fabric in my hand.
It looked clean and new, every corner of it still standing upright and strong.
The blue colour almost as vibrant as the blue in her eyes.

This is Ana's ribbon. She had it on her and now I have it with me.
I left limbo and I came back with this piece of her.

Held tightly in my hand.

I brought it back.

The ribbon.

The ribbon?

The ribbon?!

I brought back the stupid ribbon but not her?!

All at once I got mad. Not even sure who I was mad at. Myself? The universe? This stupid ribbon in my hand?

I clutched onto her with everything I had left and yet she wasn't here.

Why did this happen?!

Everyone around me stayed silent observing me as I had what could only be described as a mental breakdown. I was losing it.

We won.
Yet it feels like we lost, again.

We were supposed to be celebrating right now. Reveling in the fact that we were victorious.

But my heart could do nothing but mourn, a sorrowful ballad rising up from within its core and wrapping itself around it, strangling it.

Ana was at the forefront of my mind again.

Why let me see her if there was nothing I could do to help her?

Limbo must be large, endless even, I could have been dropped off at a different spot, literally any other damn spot. This makes no sense. She can't find peace, I couldn't give her peace and now I don't have peace.

It didn't give me closure. It didn't give her peace. All it did was remind us that even though we won, we still lost.

No one spoke a word.

I'm not sure if it because everyone was going through the same emotional turmoil I was going through, or they were just to stunned to say anything.

I mean, I did just bring up the Alphas dead cousin after seemingly dying and going to the afterlife myself.
Was I supposed to bring a message back with me?
Maybe closure for him?

Damon hadn't taken his eyes off the blue ribbon in my hand.
He stared at it but his eyes were out of focus. He was lost in his own mind. His eyes glossy, unfocused, unblinking.

Did I fail to do something important while I was there?

I took a short breath. I failed her. I failed him. I failed.

No, this doesn't make sense.
How do I even have the ribbon?
Somethings not right.
What does this mean? I wasn't even holding her ribbon, I was holding her.

I could still feel her even as I faded. Why isn't she here with me?

She is.

...

What?

Be still, and feel. Feel that? She's here.

Here? How? She isn't here.

And don't tell me that she lives on in our hearts because that's not what I want to hear right now, this isn't the lion king. She should be here, alive, bossing everyone around, smiling, laughing, here, with us.

I scolded my wolf looking all around at the pack members still scattered around me. Hushed whispers going around, probably wondering what happened to me, wondering how they brought my body back but left my sanity behind.