Run To Me

What do I do?...

"I'm here Kitten!" He called out as he walked into her house. "Where are you?" He dropped his bag at the hall table and his keys in the bowl. This house was almost as familiar to him as his own. Under other circumstances, he may well have been spending nights here too, but with one thing and another? Things had never seemed, well, appropriate.

God knows he wanted to, and a little part of him knew Molly did too, but now? The way she was? He would wait till she asked. Till she was ready. Until then? They would hug and kiss and cuddle as much - or sometimes as little - as she wanted.

So, bag deposited, jacket hung up, he walked into the living room. No Molly. Puzzled, he walked through to the kitchen. Still no Molly. Now he really WAS confused. She'd left a message saying she needed him and urgently. He'd finished his meeting and came across as soon as he could. He would always come to her as soon as he could. But now? No, Molly.

He walked into the bedroom, and for a split second, his stomach twisted, and his heart stopped. She was lying on the bed, eyes closed, clutching a photo of her and James. She was pale and still. All reason and logic deserting him, he panicked and dashed over, grabbing her by the shoulders and pulling her upright

She opened her eyes and let out a yell. He gasped loudly and dropped her again.

"WHAT THE HELL!" she recoiled and looked at him, still half asleep and terrified.

"TOM! What the BLOODY HELL were you doing?"

"I-I thought - you were - that you'd..." his eyes filled with tears, and he sat down on the bed next to her with a thump. "I thought you'd left me." He said almost in a whisper into his lap, tears dripping.

All her anger and irritation flooded away, leaving only a huge need to comfort the man who had spent all his time comforting her.

"Oh, come here, my poor Tom" She opened her arms, and he fell into her arms weeping. "Oh Tommy, I would never do that to you. Never. I was just so tired, it's been a rough morning." She stroked his hair and realised just how hard it was to see someone you loved in pain.

"You promise?" He said, suddenly sounding like a little boy. "You really promise?"

She smiled at him and wiped his cheeks with her sleeve. "Of course I do. How could I leave the only man I will ever love?"

He sat up, blinking back the last of his sorrow. "Love?"

She smiled at him, how could he have doubted it? "Yes, Tom, I love you." She held her breath. Even in the midst of this, this mess of a life, some things were just undeniable. He smiled and it was like someone had switched on a light. It seemed to illuminate the whole room. She realised she should have said it long before.

"Oh Molly, my little kitten... my love" he took her in his arms "I love you so much. I wanted to tell you, I was just afraid it wasn't the right time." they looked at each other and she could feel his breath dancing on her lips as he pulled her close. His lips moved against hers as he whispered his undying love for her again. She silenced him with a long, deep and searching kiss. All the sadness, all the fear, all the pent up emotion finding it's release. At last.

They parted and sat, breathless and smiling like two love-sick teenagers. "So, wonderful as that was my love, I don't think that's why you called me?" he said stroking a lock of hair from her face.

She sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and standing up. Holding out her hand, she pulled him to stand then walked him through to the living room. There, on the coffee table, sat an A4 sheet of paper and an unopened letter. She sat him down on the sofa and handed him the sheet of paper. He scanned the first line and looked up at her, shock in his eyes.

"Are you sure you want me to read this love?" he asked gently, "It seems very personal?"

She sat in a chair opposite him, resting her head on the back, eyes closed. "Yes, please Tom, I need someone else to read it, I need YOU to read it. Tell me what to do Tom, please?" She opened her eyes and looked over at the envelope on the table then to him. He could see real fear in her eyes, fear of the unknown. Fear of unlocking something hidden for a long, long, time.

He turned back to the page.

"Darling Molls,

Reading this must mean I finally let you down. After all these years, teaching and teasing and loving and caring. Putting plasters on your knees and stitching your heart back together. Terrorising your boyfriends and fancying your girlfriends - yes I know, I know, creepy. But now, as someone once said, I go to an undiscovered country from where no traveller returns. Alone I hope. Oh God, I hope alone.

Before I go, I wanted to leave you with something. Not only to remember me by, God knows how could you forget an idiot like me, but something of a puzzle. A challenge. A test.

I failed. I hope you don't.

In this envelope you'll find a letter. I think I know who it's from, but I can't be sure. If it IS, then I have made a huge mistake. I have done you wrong and I have let you down.

Molly, I know to you, I am James The Invincible .. stop laughing you minx. I'm just a man Molls, just a scared and cowardly man. Helen doesn't know about this envelope. If I told her, she would make me open it, as she probably should, but I don't want to.

It's just been you and me for so long. We were a team, a strong, brave, funny and resilient team. You and me, sis, against the world. Cut price Avengers. I didn't want anything to hurt you, to make you feel sad, to take you away. I ignored the letter. For a long, long time as you can see.

Please, Molls, open it if you would like to. Read it and do whatever makes YOU happy. If it's just a gas bill, then I think it's no longer due, you'll be ok. If, however, it's an explanation, a reason, an olive branch, then you must do what you think is right, whatever that is. No-one is expecting glorious reunions. No-one is expecting you to forgive and forget and play happy families. But if that IS what you want, then no-one has the right to deny it for you. Not even me. Especially not me.

I love you Molls, I always will, and I will always be watching. Everything you naughty little sausage!

Be good(ish) be kind (as you are) and be loved (as I know you will be) but most of all Molly, be YOU.

J xxx

PS This bit is written as you and Tom sit somewhere making goo-eyes at each other I suspect. You only met this morning but I have the sneaking suspicion that my wish for you to be loved is about to come true. He's a good man Molly, a really good man. Love him back. Never let him go. Be happy darling, (hard without me I know) the future is all yours. xxxx

Tom looked up, tears in his eyes, the conversation he'd had with James replaying in his head. He folded the paper in two and put it on that table next to the envelope.

"What do I do Tom?" she said, tears running down her face, "tell me darling. What do I do?"