Letter Supply | Shaylor

Eighteen - Love

I'd love to completely admit that we are becoming the best of friends. Closer than before, better than anything.

However... Cameron has been distant still.

It's one week into school and, I just, I swear Cameron just gets more protective over me and I just, don't know really.

Then watch, how will the plane ride or hotels be with Cameron? It's in two weeks.

One thing that I have no doubt about towards my happiness is my secret admirer. It's been dim but he's slowly coming back. Did I mention I think it's my pen pal?

Ugh, I have a feeling I'll be getting one a week. It's making me pretty happy to know how I could mean so much to someone, aside from Cameron or Taylor.

Speaking of Taylor, he isn't making much moves so I don't think he likes me. I might as well Skype my pen pal Taylor and see what he thinks of me but hey... you really don't know.

Why do I even like some stranger who gives me letters? There are guys right in front of me and I don't know how to accept them around me. It's hard. You know how I am.

-

Today, it's a day that I dedicate to Cameron. I promised it.

We will be getting clothes for the trip and everything.

In between that, I keep wondering what Taylor is all about, that second life, and how Nash is a social media star. What are these things? I am so out of it I don't even know.

"SHAWNWWNN!" Cameron screamed. I was so afraid, he started panting and squealing uncontrollably. "NASH REVINED ME."

"UHHH... WHY ARE YOU FREAKING OUT, YOU KNOW I DONT UNDERSTAND THE BIG DEAL OF THESE THINGS. REALLY."

He hit the back of my head and showed me his phone screen. "Imbecile."

"Okay whatever you say."

So supposedly, Cameron explained it all to me. "Nash is popular on vine in North Carolina, along with his two other friends there, their names are Matt and Carter."

"Aren't those the guys were going to meet in like a few weeks?" He nodded.

He says since they're big in the net already then it shouldn't be hard for him to blow up as well. Cameron also makes vines, while as for me. I never downloaded the app.

My pen pal makes vines right, Taylor Caniff... I should look him up. But not now, I just started school and I don't need some app taking over my life, like Cameron over here.

Right now, after all that fangirling, Cameron didn't want to do a whole lot. We are just cruising. Earlier we kind of stopped by a board walk and talked. We don't do much. Even silence is comfortable.

But I want to confront something with him before the night ends.

He rolled down every window as we went under a fully light lit tunnel.

"Cam?.." I looked his way. "Mhmm."

"Are you, do.. wow harder than I though." I sighed. "Is there a problem with Taylor?"

Eyes gazed to the road, "No. Not at all."

"Then why have you been acting weird ever since?"

"Thought I was loosing a friend."

I grabbed one of his hands that was off the steering wheel and holding the ignition.

"I love you, okay, friends say these things right. And I mean it. I love you, only you, it's just you. Understand that!" I kissed the smoothness of his knuckles. "You."

"Right Shawn! That's the thing. You love me..." he pulled over to the side of the road. "I can't have you love me."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "I don't know why you value me so much I'm not anything special. I don't see myself good enough for you. It's not the same. Shawn you don't get it. But I can't tell you yet. At least not now..."

"Do one thing for me. " He demanded in a whisper. "Yes..."

With no regards, he brought his hands to my neck as he forcefully skimmed his lips on mine. "Tell me stop and I will..." with in seconds, his lips attached with mine.

Soft, smooth, flavor of, cotton candy I suppose since that's what we had earlier. It was pure and somewhat perfect. I have been craving this, not Cameron but a kiss.

It was so full on to the point where I didn't want to stop and I couldn't. I tugged on his bottom lip as it was between mine. I just, it we all passion and care from Cameron.

Even though he started it, he was the first to back off.

"Um." He whispered touching my lips then leaning back on his chair with his eyes shut, he let out a soft moan. "Uhh." Oh who knew that sound out of his lips sounded like a melody to me. "Wow." I said under breath.

He put the keys back in and switched the gear to Drive. Slowly, looking over his shoulder he continued the route we were meant to be on.

Cameron turned on the radio.

The first song to come on was Not In That Way by Sam Smith.

And I hate to say I love you
When it's so hard for me
And I hate to say I want you
When you make it so clear
You don't want me

I'd never ask you 'cause deep down I'm certain I know what you'd say
You'd say, "I'm sorry, believe me, I love you but not in that way."

This puts us in a very heated awkward intention because... either, one way or the other around, we both have different meanings of the phrase, 'I love you' and I guess I think I love him more than he loves me.

Before I could ask him what he meant before the kiss, he changed the song. I figured he probably knew I loved him more.

"Cam? Talk to me."

"Didn't it say enough? Actions speak louder than words, hello."

What, so he's experimenting or does he actually like me?

Yeah.

- ✈️ -

Btw very aware that they aren't from these places I do know where they settle and are from but for the sake of my book and 'fanfiction' not everything is real okay!

☺️ if I wanted to make Shawn a female belly dancer then it would be acceptable because this is fiction written by a fan ☺️

[ june 3 - 4:32 p ]