The Malfoy Affair

Like Father Like Son

Renn's Pov

3 weeks later-

Grief is something that I had never really paid much mind to.

No, I'm not talking about grieving someone who has passed on, I'm talking about grieving the life I could have had before everything changed. Before pain and heartache became a constant companion of mine. Before my parents deaths. Before the war.

Sometimes I feel like never really had a chance at a normal life especially given everything I've found out over the past few months. Like I was just set up for failure one way or another.

Grieving a life you could've had but never will is bone chillingly lonely.

Being pregnant with little light is making me take a hard look at the things and people around me as well as my past.

Truthfully most of the people I have met who are no longer apart of my life and even the ones that still are currently in my life are not worth meeting and I have absolutely nothing to offer this child.

I grieve for the life my baby could have had if things were different. If I was different.

Maybe we could have been happy.

It's been three weeks since Draco has been here and things have been strained to say the least.

I've tried to hold out hope that things will get better but as the days have passed they've only gotten more tense.

Lucius stopped my lessons completely and I haven't seen much of him. He mostly sends Tippy to check up on me and occasionally Draco.

I hear him angrily lecture Draco and even going so far to say that he was out of line with his accusations and should be making sure I'm alright to appease the serpentine charm at the very least.

Speaking of Draco we haven't really spoken much since that day other than when he knocks on the bedroom door to make sure I'm okay.

I'm so hurt by what he said I can't even be in the same room as him.

It makes me sad though-to avoid him because I know that if anyone understands the loneliness I'm feeling it's Draco. He understands what it's like to grieve a life he could have had if he were brought up in different circumstances.

I decided today that I couldn't take staring at these four walls any longer. I needed some fresh air. I needed a change of scenery.

I took my opportunity once the the living room was quiet for a while. I called Tippy just to double check that both Lucius and Draco were preoccupied with something and not in the way of the door and she said that Lucius was checking the wards and Draco was in the bath.

I quickly threw on my outdoor robes at her words and booked it for the door.

I tried to be as quiet as possible to not alert Draco of me leaving my room.

I managed to make it outside and to a small bench that was on the side of the cottage that I assumed either Lucius or Draco had conjured and put there because I hadn't seen this before.

Once I sat down I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

I brought my hand to my protruding stomach and started to rub it a little. The fresh air sent chills down my spine but I quickly cast a warning charm to help with that.