" i love you. I feel as though we were never strangers, you and I, not even for a moment"- friedrich nietzsche
I wake up to my phone ringing, still half sleep I answered it.
Regretting my decision.
"Hello?" I ask in my sleepy voice.
"Hello? Stella?" The voice says.
Mason?
"Mason?" I ask stupidly.
"Who else would it be?" He asks confused.
"What do you want?" I ask sitting up on my bed, running my fingers through my hair.
"I miss you" he says softly.
I laugh bitterly, "yeah okay, leave me alone" i tell him shouting into the phone.
"Me and Lana broke up, I missed you so much" he says, "i regret choosing her"
I hang up on him before he can say anything.
I block him on all social media and his number as well.
He's done ruining my life, I've moved here to be happy and that is going to happen.
I get out of bed and start getting ready for the day, I strengthen my hair for today and do my make up.
I feel good, so I take a selfie and post it on my socials.
Ethan texts me a little afterwards about our plans to hang out.
He comes over a little bit later.
I grab my stuff that I need and head out.
I go into his car smiling at him, "hey Ethan" i said.
"Hi stells" he greets back as he leaves my driveway.
"So where are we going?" I ask him.
"We can go to the park for a little bit, then the mall and maybe later at night we can go to this party happening" he says.
I nod excitedly, "okay sounds great!" I say looking out the window.
"Let's put on Taylor swift?" He asks, i grin.
"Why of course" i say as I take his phone to put the music on.
This is me trying goes on.
I take a view pictures on his phone, he notices and smiles.
Some of them are of me smiling and others are me with my tongue sticking out, or doing a fish face.
"Why are all the sad ones coming on?" He asks. I shrugged my shoulders.
"I love sad songs" i said, he looks over at me. "I just have a sad soul."
Or mentally Ill.
"There's a lot of things I don't know about you stells" he says in a thoughtful tone.
I nod, "but you will" i said.
He pulls up to the park where we went last time.
He parks and stops the car turning to me in his seat.
"Wanna play 20 questions?" He asks.
I feel a sudden Deja Vu feeling, i nod my head.
"Sure! You go first" i tell him, letting him go first.
He nods, "have you ever been in love before?" He asks.
"I would say yes but I don't think it counts" i tell him truthfully.
He looks like he wants to say something more but holds back.
"Have you?" I ask him before he can say anything.
"No I never have" he says, i look at him surprised.
"Really? You haven't fallen in love before?" I ask him curious.
He shakes his head no, "no I've never gotten that far in a relationship" he says.
"How many girls have you dated?" I ask him.
"Only two" he says proudly, "I've never done anything with them, I guess I'm kind of waiting for the right one."
I kind of feel happy hearing him say that he's never been with anyone sexually.
"How many boyfriends have you had?" He asks.
"Only two, and both times I thought I was in love with them but I wasn't"
"Why do you think it wasn't love?" He asks leaning in a little.
I shrugged my shoulders "I don't know, I guess it didn't feel like love afterwards"
"But what if it was love but in your own way?" He says a curious look on his face.
"Maybe, afterwards it just didn't feel right" i said. "Your turn" i tell him changing the subject.
"If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?" He says.
My mental health, but there's no way I'd tell him that.
Instead I say something close to that, "the way I think about everything"
He doesn't seem to know what I'm talking about which is good.
"I would say the same" he says, "your turn"
"What's your biggest fear? Not the kind that's like spiders or heights, something real" i said.
He thinks about it, "I would say maybe being forgotten by the people I love or care for" he says sounding unsure.
"What about you?" He says leaning more he's half way to my face.
I lean back because why not.
"I would say never being seen, i don't know why it's so important to be seen but I want it. I want to be seen by someone that I love or something"
"It's almost a desperately wanted, I desperately want to be seen"
He leans again and this time I lean towards him.
His lips almost on mine.
"I see you" he says and then smashes his lips onto my own.
I kiss him back, his lips melt perfectly onto my own.
In this moment everything washes away, all of my worries and doubts just starts to melt away.
In this moment it feels right, it is right. He is right.
He pulls away both of us breathing hard.
"I've wanted to kiss you for so long now even before I knew you existed" he said making me laugh.
He smiles.
"How did you want to kiss me even before you knew I existed if you didn't know I existed?" I ask him.
"My soul just knew, it just knew I needed you" he said looking into my eyes.
In this moment I'm scared, scared of him finding out and realizing what he felt wasn't real.
He sees my face morphed into a scared look.
"What's wrong?" He asks cornered.
"I have to tell you something" i said sounding scared.
"And i understand if you want nothing to do with me afterwards"
Maybe I shouldn't have said it that way, it sounds way too weird.
As if I was about to confess to a murder or something.
But in a way I kind of did try to murder someone.
Myself.
YOU ARE READING
The Way You See Me
Teen FictionAll Stella wants to do is forget about her past, she wants to find her old self again, she wants to be her old self again without the people who hurt her. What better way to forget about your past than to move to New York, that's exactly what she di...
