The Way You See Me

I'll find you (6)

Ethan introduced himself, I did the same.

"I'm Stella," I say, he just smiles.

"I know" is all he says.

I nod "Okay" he's so weird, I like it.

"So tell me about yourself," he says, "if you're okay with that"

"What do you want to know?" I ask him.

He looks into my eyes as he says this "Everything. I want to know everything"

I shiver at his words, I hope he sees how guarded I am.

I hope he can see how I'm not going to be easy.

I hope he can see how he lose me so fast.

What if I relapse again?

What if I try to kill myself again?

He won't stick around after that freak show.

Mason didn't. Talking to Ethan somehow makes me feel like I'm cheating on Mason.

But I'm not, even if I was it's not like it would matter since he felt the need to do it to me.

Please please please, please

Please tell me you understand, that I'm worth it.

Why do I want him to see it so badly?

"I moved here to stay with my aunt for senior year," I tell him.

I don't want to say that he sees me because of last time but the way he looks at me, into my eyes.

Makes me believe otherwise.

"Why did you move in with her?" He asked curiously.

I shrugged my shoulders "I don't know, I guess sometimes life happens and you don't have a choice but to run away"

He indifferently looks at me, I don't know if it's a good thing or not.

"Sometimes I feel like running away too," he says, "I wish I could do that, but I'm always going to pull back," he says sounding distant.

My guard is up and so is his.

The bell rings before we can say anything else.

"Do you want to walk together?" he asks, I give him a confused look.

He laughs, "we have government class together," he says.

Oh

"Sure," I said smiling at him.

His eyes soften but his guard is up I can see it in his eyes.

"What's your favorite color?" He asks as we start walking to class.

"I would say pink, and yours?" I throw back the same question.

"I would say brown," he says, I look at him.

"Really? Why?" I ask curiously, "I feel like no one likes that color, which is sad," I said to him.

He looks at me in a way no one has ever, not even Mason.

"I can't tell you why right now, but maybe someday I will"

Now I look at him "And what if that day comes and we don't talk anymore?" I ask him because you never know.

"Then I'll find you and I'll tell you," he says.

"What if you can't find me?" I just keep coming up with ridiculous questions.

"I guess I'll have to take it to the grave with me," he says smiling.

We arrive and he goes to sit at his table with Diego, they both look back at me as they whisper.