The Way You See Me

Happy again(34)

"but happiness has a shape made of air / it was never owned by anyone / it comes when it will in its own time"- W.S. Merwin

Ethan leaves me to go get us a drink.

I go around searching for my friends or mutuals.

I push my way through the crowd of people standing around talking to their friends.

I feel a hand on my waist, the hand on me gives me chills down my spine.

I turn towards the person that the hand belongs to, I don't recognize the person

"Um, excuse me but could you maybe not touch me" i said, i can't believe now a days you have to even tell someone that.

"Sorry sweetheart, you just look so tasty" the deep voice said, "my name is Cade"

I nod, "okay, well I have to go, so bye"

I was about to leave when suddenly Cade starts dragging me out of the crowd.

"What the fuck!" I said surprised, "let go of me"

I struggle against his tight grip on my hand.

"You're not going anywhere" he says as he pushes me against the wall.

I try to push him off me but he leans against my body harder.

"Let go of me!" I cry out as he kisses my neck and let's his hand roam all around my body.

I start to cry as I give up on pushing him away, just as I start to give up, his body is ripped away from me.

"What the-" the guy doesn't finish his sentence as Ethan throws a punch at him.

"Don't fucking touch my girlfriend" Ethan says angrily.

Ella is by my side, "are you okay?" She questioned

I nod as I cry, shaking from what just happened. Ethan walks over to me as the guy lays on the floor.

Ethan's lip is bleeding, along with his knuckles.

I reach over for him, "are you okay?" I ask, I grab his hand.

"I should be asking you that, are you okay?" He questioned concern in his voice.

I nod, "I'm better now that your here with me"

He kisses my head, "it's okay, I'm here now"

"I think you should take her home, she shouldn't be here like this" Gigi says as she grabs my hand.

Ethan nods, "I agree, I'll take you home"

"I'll see you later" i say to Gigi hugging her.

"I'll text you" she says, i nod as we start walking.

Ethan holds onto my hand tightly making sure not to hurt me.

The whole way out I'm shaking, I don't know if it's because I'm cold or because of what happened.

"It's okay" Ethan whispers to me, "I won't let anything happen to you now"

Ethan opens the car door, letting me in.

I get in and he closes the door after making sure I'm in.
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"Can you stay the night with me tonight?" I ask Ethan as we go into my house.

He nods, "Of course, anything you want" he says tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

"You guys are back early" aunt Jules says surprised.

She gasps as she sees my eyes tear stained and Ethan's dried bloody lip.

"What happened?!" She asks concern in her voice.

"Some guy tried to rape Stella, i got there and punched him" Ethan says as he squeezes my hand reassuringly.

"Oh my god! Are you okay Stells?" She questioned as she grabs my hand.

"I'm okay" i said as I feel a shiver down my spine as I remembered his hands all over my body. "Can Ethan stay the night? I feel much better with him here"

Aunt Jules nods, "Yeah, that's fine" she says

"I'm going to go to my room" i tell her as I start walking, feeling emotionally drained.

Ethan follows behind me, he closes the door once we're in.

"I think I'm going to shower before we lay down" i said as I grab one of his hoodies and sweatpants.

He nods, "I'll be here" he says.

I nod and i walk into my bathroom, i turn the shower on, I put it on hot all the way.

I want to burn away the feeling of his hand on my skin, I feel disgusted with myself as I feel flashes of the memories of him touching me.

I hate it, I hate how I can feel it as if it's happening again. Like he's actually here.

I sit in the water as I tuck in my knees under my chin, the tears mix in with the hot water.

I stay in there for hours, at least I think.

There's  knock on the door, "Stella? Are you okay?" Ethan's voice sounded through the bathroom.

"Uh, Yeah I'm almost out" i said as I turn off the water

I quickly dried myself off, I put my bra on and Ethan's hoodie, my underwear and sweatpants.

I look into the mirror, my hair tangled up from the water, my eyes look swollen from my crying in the shower.

I open the bathroom door to see Ethan waiting for me.

He looks up at me as he hears the door open, he opens his arms and I don't hesitate to embrace him.

I sob some more in his arms, but he comforts me.

He doesn't tell me anything, with his silence alone I know I'll be okay as along as I'm with him.

I need him more then I need air itself.

We Stan there for what felt like hours but in reality it was only ten minutes, i pull away wiping my tears.

"I'm sorry for being a crying mess" i said laughing a little.

"Don't be sorry, I love when you are a crying mess because it means your comfortable with me" he says gently. "Always remember that"

I nod, "you can cry with me too, you know"

He laughs "I know, I trust you enough to show you my vulnerability" he says creasing my face.

"I hope you know I love you so much" i said to him as we look into each others eyes

"I love you Stella, you are it for me" he says.