The Way You See Me

I see me (36)

"I want to make up for all the love you never thought that you deserved."
- Haiku

I always wanted someone to rescue me from my own mind.

I thought I needed someone to fix me, I thought people could fix me.

But all along i really just needed someone to stay by my side while I fixed myself.

Ethan is that person for me, he stayed and watched me fix myself but handed me the tools whenever I couldn't reach for it.

I guess in the end I really did get rescued from the evil step mother and her evil twin daughters, just like I always wanted.

But not because someone did it for me, but because instead I did it.

I saved myself, I learned to love myself and be gentle with myself.

I know my dad and brother would be proud of me.

At the end of it all, it all worked out perfectly. I was able to see myself.

I step into the view of the mirror as I fix my hair, aunt Jules standing behind me.

"You look so beautiful Stells!" She says, looking into the mirror.

"Thank you Aunt Jules" i turn around to look at her, "and thank you for letting me stay here, this school year"

"Like I've told you many times" she says, "you're like a daughter to me"

I smile, "and you're like another mother to me"

I hug her, "I love you" she says, "I'll be in the living room"

I nod, i turn back to look in the mirror.

My pink prom dress reaches down the floor, my heels are pink as well.

I feel like a pretty princess, I finish off my make up with my mascara.

I can't help but look at myself in the mirror, Ethan is lucky to have me.

I laugh, more like I'm lucky to have him.

He's one of a kind.
¥¥¥

"One more- no two more pictures" Aunt Jules says as she snaps pictures of me and Ethan.

I groan, "Aunt Jules! You already have like a million pictures of us already"

"Okay, okay one more but with all of you!" She says, "a group picture"

Emma and diego stand on the left side of Ethan and I, while Rosy and her date stand on our right side.

Aunt Jules then starts to take a million more pictures of us, all in different poses.

"Okay! I'm done" she says, "I'm sorry! Your mother wanted me to take pictures of you at prom and I wasn't going to let her down"

I laugh, "it's fine"

"It's okay, we'll just be fashionably late" Emma says

"That's nothing new" Diego whispers loudly, Emma smacks his shoulder

"Okay, let's go guys" Ethan says, grabbing my hand.

Ethan rented a limbo for the night

"I'm so excited! I've never been in one before" i said as we get in.

Ethan chuckles, "it's just a long car babe"

"I know! It's so exotic"
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We arrive to Prom! The music is loud and bumping.

"Did you go to last years prom?" I ask Ethan as we walk in

He shakes his head, "no, I didn't, did you?"

"No, I'm pretty sure I was in the hospital at that time" i said unsure, "I think, it's pretty blurry"

"Well, we'll make this prom unforgettable" he says smiling.

"Yes we will" I said smiling back.

I gasp, "oh my god! Let's go to the Photo Booth" i said dragging Ethan behind me.

We go into the Photo Booth, the person working there tells us how it works.

We have a few seconds before each photo is taken, props are there below.

We grab different props after the pictures.

Two pieces of paper with pictures of us come out, i hand one to Ethan and another one for me.

Ethan looks down at the picture smiling, and he looks up at me.

"I love you so much Stella" he says

"And I love you more" i said

In this moment I know.

He puts the picture into his pocket inside his jacket.
¥¥¥

I'm glad things ended the way they ended, Mason cheated on me but that's just how it was supposed to be.

That's how the universe planned it, it hurt a lot especially when it's with a family member.

But you learn from it.

I thought Mason was the one to See Me, to See Through Me, but he wasn't. It was just The Way He Saw Me that made me believe that.

It's weird to think about how one day you think you're in love, then you get your heartbroken and you swear you'll never try again.

But then someone comes in and sweeps you up and makes you realize, you were never really in love in the first place.

Because this love, this feeling it's different, different then the first time.

All along, this story, this journey was about me finding myself, and seeing myself.

I never needed Mason to see me, it was always me.

I had always seen myself.