The Way You See Me

The cleanup (27)

"I'm restless and harsh and despairing. Although I do have love inside me. I just don't know how to use love. Sometimes it tears at my flesh, like barbs."

"E-Ethan?!" I stutter asking him, I can't believe he's here. "What are you doing here?"

His eyes filled with guilt, "when I saw your message, I knew I had to come here. I couldn't leave you alone" he said.

Before I can say anything, he talks again.

"I love you Stells" he says, "I love you and I'm sorry it took me three weeks to say it"

He tugs his hair frustrated, "I didn't want to lose you, I can't lose you"

I stare at him, i don't say anything because I don't know what to say.

Now it's my turn to say nothing.

I stare him and he stares back waiting for me to say anything.

"You hurt me so much when you didn't say it back and when you didn't talk to me"

He looks down in a guilty way, "I know and I'm sorry" he says.

I want to be mad at him more but I've missed him so much that I can't be mad anymore.

"I've missed you" i said as i hug him.

I take him by surprise but he hugs me back anyway.

"I've missed you more" he said.

We stay like that in what seems like forever but eventually I let go.

"Let's go" i said holding his hand, walking us out. "How did you know where to find me?" I ask him.

"Aunt Jules" he says, "she bought me a airplane ticket ahead of time and gave me the address"

I make a mental note to thank her later.

"I really do love you" he says it with a smile on his face.

I smile at him but i don't say it back.

We continue walking until we get to the car Aunt Jules rented, she's in there staring ahead.

She looks like she's been crying but who hasn't.

I knock on the window, she rolls it down.

"Hey guys" she says wiping away her tears.

"I talked to mom" i said, "she's going to be fine!"

A smile forms on her face, "I told you she was going to be fine" she says.

We both get into the car, aunt Jules drives us home.

I feel weird being back here, I know I shouldn't because it's my home. I grew up here but yet it was also the same place I couldn't stand to be.

Once we get home, we all get off and head inside.

"Welcome home!" Evelyn yells out, Violet Blake and Noah jumping out from behind the couch.

"Oh my god" i yell out covering my mouth with my hands in surprise. "You guys!"

I go up to Evelyn hugging her as the others come out of their place.

"We've missed you so much" Blake says giving me a big hug.

"Aww! I've missed you guys more" i said letting go of him.

"Who's this?!" Noah asks looking at Ethan.

I smile, "guys! This is Ethan. My boyfriend" i said grabbing his hand.

"He's the guy from FaceTime!" Blake says.

Evelyn rolls her eyes at him "yes he is! Thank you captain obvious" she says.