Stalemate // The Queens Gambit //Benny Watts x OC

Twenty eight: Complicated

    Benny and I stopped outside the room, taking a moment to  cool down. Benny sighed heavily and I stared at the ground awkwardly. I could feel Benny's eyes on me but I didn't really want to meet them. I didn't understand whatever was between him and Jonathan but it made me uncomfortable. I felt it was centered around me, which may sound vain but I could feel it. I just couldn't figure out what the issue was.

"Hey, I'm sorry about what happened. It was partly my fault, I shouldn't have pushed his buttons like that." Benny said sheepishly.

"No, it's alright. You were both being a bit immature, but him more so." I smiled a little and he smiled back.

"Yeah I guess so. well again, Sorry. You want me to talk to him or anything? Work this out, clear the air?"

"If you want. I'm going to talk to him too, though, so that's optional. But I have a question—what is your problem with each other? It's always so tense between the two of you but I've never really seen anything happen, did one of you say something or..?" He let out another sigh and ran his hand through his hair, slightly frustrated.

"No, not really. I think it's more like jealousy."

"Jealousy? What do you mean?"

"Well, you mentioned how you rejected him and he's probably upset about it. It probably doesn't help seeing how close we are."

I scoffed and folded my arms. "Why? Me and Joanathan are still friends, he gets the same treatment you do. And Macy, and Jamie, and Julia, and everyone else."

He raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips with skepticism. He shrugged as he continued. "Is that true though? We met less than two months ago and we're already closer than you two ever were. We talk on the phone every day, we see each other almost every other day, Seems to me if you guys spoke that much, you two would have made your feelings clear a lot sooner."

"What? What are you saying, you think he has a reason to be jealous? Just because I don't talk to him or see him as much as you doesnt mean he's less of a friend or you more of one."

"I know, I'm not saying that—exactly—just that.. well, does he have a reason to be jealous?"

I stared in shock. Seriously? "Oh come on," I groaned. "You too now? Why does everyone have the same ludicrous idea that I have some stupid crush on you?! This is rdiculous, I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer."

This caught his attention and a small smirk creeped onto his mouth. It only made me angrier. "Everyone? Like who?"

"Well- no, I'm not telling you! This is ridiculous, Let's drop it."

"Why? You really hate the thought that much? Why is it so bad? Do you really believe it's ridiculous or are you just scared of the real answer?"

"I'm not- Jesus Christ.." I massaged my temples and took a deep breath in. "I am not scared of anything. It's just annoying when people tell me what I'm feeling, especially when I don't even knwo what I'm feeling!"

"You don't? So.. there's a little part of you that thinks it might be true."

"That's not what I mean, I just- this is so complicated.." he looks at me expectantly and I know he wants me to continue so I force myself to calm down and speak carefully. "Sometimes, there are these moments. Tiny little great, happy, fun, moments where I might almost believe it, where I think it's possible. But then I think about everything rationally and I know it's not what I really want."

"Why?" He asks, listing intently.

"Well growing up with my mother, seeing her with a new guy every week, it's not exactly the kind of childhood that would have me picking out wedding invitations with the first attractive man I see. And Macy, I love her and I love Jamie but they fight so often, sometimes I don't know if she's marrying him because he makes her happy or because he's the first one that proposed. I don't really.. believe in true love, I guess. And with someone I care about as much as you, I can't even think about it because when it blows up, and it would, I would be more than just heartbroken. I just don't think it's in the cards for me." I finally finish, winded and emotionally exhausted. Benny thinks about what I said for a moment and looks a little sad.

"I understand what you mean. And I'm sorry everyone's put all this pressure on you, especially if I'm one of those people. But Adelaide, just because you've had some shitty examples of relationships, doesnt mean it's not meant to be or that it's not real or never ends well. Believe me, I've experienced some really bad relationships and witnessed plenty, but that doesnt mean it won't work eventually. And if theres someone you want it to work with I think you should jump on it. It's probably worth trying. not that it has to be me or anything, if you've been saying you don't feel that way I believe you."

"Thank you. I appreciate it. But I still don't think it's worth it."

"..alright, whatever you want to believe. But don't just remain cynical forever, okay? Bitter old ladies aren't very fun to be around" he cracks a small smile to try and cheer me up but it doesn't really work.

"Sure. Can we go inside now?"

"Yeah, let's go. they're probably running around like headless chickens without us."

We go back inside and everyone asks where we've been. Jonathan obviously didn't tell anyone about the little disagreement earlier, which I was grateful for. He was sitting in a chair in the corner with a beer and staring off into space. I chose to ignore it and just resume the party, which we did by playing more beer pong, me losing as usual.

***

After our little celebration had finished, everyone retreated back to their rooms. Macy practically had to drag me to mine since I was quite thoroughly hammered. I giggled and hiccuped as she held me up, leading me out the door. Benny and Jamie followed us into the hall to make sure we got to our beds alright. Jamie held me up as Macy unlocked our room and opened the door, which he ended up fireman carrying me to my bed because my ankles didn't seem to be functioning properly. He set me down and I giggled again as my hair fell over my face. Macy worked on getting my jewelry off and Benny helped with my shoes. When Macy went to set the necklace on the nightstand I rolled over, almost kicking Benny in the face in the process, and reached for it.

"Nooo, I want to wear it!" I whined as she set it out of my grasp.

"You know it's bad to wear jewelry like this to bed, Addy. Remember when you slept with a sequin bracelet on New Years and then slept on your wrist, almost ripping out half your hair? And god forbid you break this gorgeous thing."

"Awww, come on, it's so pretty! And it was so sweet of Benny to get ittt." I insisted, slurring heavily.

"Nope, sorry. Go to sleep and you can wear it tomorrow."

I curled up and pouted, but eventually fell asleep.

THIRD PERSON POV:

"Finally," Macy sighed, glancing at Adelaide sleeping peacefully. "Thanks guys, I almost pulled a muscle last time I did this."

"No problem hun, don't let her throw up on the bed. Love you." Jamie said, kissing his fiancé and patting Benny's shoulder as he headed back to their room.

"I thought she quit? Wasn't she having some problems with alcohol?" Benny asked, sitting on the edge of Adelaide's bed. Macy sat on hers with a sad look.

"She was. But a few weeks after the funeral, we were talking and she said she felt a lot better and figured it'd be okay if she let herself drink again. She said she didn't need it to escape anymore, so it was safe. But since then, I've been worried about her. She never used to drink in public, she didn't enjoy it as much as the rest of us, and I don't know what changed. It was before Cynthia died so I've been thinking maybe she's been going through something else."

"Before her mother died, huh? I only know about how she would binge drink after she got the news. But I don't think it's a good idea for her to be drinking like this again, it's easy to slip into old habits once you give yourself the chance."

"That's what I've been thinking too, but I don't know what to do. She's adult, she can do what she wants. And I'm worried if I say anything too pushy she'll get upset with me. It hasn't even gotten too bad yet so she'll probably think I'm paranoid."

"I don't think she's the type of person—or drunk, for that matter—to get upset over something like that. Especially if it's from you. I say try it, see what happens. If she does get upset, let her cool off and just monitor her. If it gets really bad, step in."

Macy nodded, still watching Adelaide with a concerned expression. "Yeah, I guess your right. Thank you."

"No problem. Night." Benny stood and they exchanged a small hug before he went back to his room. Macy changed, brushed her teeth, put a trash can by Adelaide's bed, and went to sleep herself.